A Closer Look

Had you asked me 15 year ago...

2012-02-08T21:08:00.000-08:00

Wednesday January 25, 2012 began the Spring Semester of my 1st year of graduate studies. Last semester, I am PROUD to say, I completed my 9 credit course load with a 4.0 gpa! PRAISE THE LORD! I'm taking another 9 credits this semester as well because last semester wasn't that bad once I found my rhythm. I also have to give a HUGE SHOUT to my SMOKINGLY AWESOME WIFE VERONICA for giving me the support, picking up the slack around the house, and the margin to complete my assignments and study.

This semester, my course lineup is Leadership and Change Communication, Mediation Conflict, and Corporate Advertising. I am extremely stoked about my classes this semester because these are the topics that I am passionate about.

I had two classes the other night; Leadership and Change Communication along with Mediation Conflict. It was the first night of class so we didn't get into anything heavy really. We got acquainted with one another because it's a relatively intimate class of 9 students. We pretty much "interviewed" one another and got to learn a bit about everyone's background, goals, hobbies, and aspirations.

A really penetrating question my professor asked was, "What in your life led you to this point of being a leader?" That was penetrating to me because I literally was stuck when it came to answering that question. It's like everything just paused and got really quiet. I tried to think back at times in my life that led me to this point and I couldn't.

The scripture that is tugging away at me is Ephesians 2:10, which says; "For we are his workmanship, having been created in Christ Jesus for good works that God PREPARED BEFOREHAND so we may do them."

So, had you asked me 15 years ago; "Do you know 15 years from now you'd be married and leading a family? Leading ministries and small groups? Leading at your job?" I would've looked at you like you had two heads on your shoulders. I didn't know...BUT GOD DID! He knew exactly where I would be right now before I even could envision it. Before I even had the desire to be what I am; HE KNEW!

So what's the significance of the pic at the top? Well, it pretty much represents myself at a fork(s) in a road during my life that have led me to where I am today. Because I have not arrived and never will, I know for sure I will find myself at more forks in the road throughout the rest of my life. I'm perfectly fine with that because I know who is charting my course.

Although I may not have know where which road might end up; He knows EXACTLY which road I'm going to take and where it was going to end up particularly since "...having been created in Christ Jesus for good works that God prepared beforehand so we may do them."

Highlights/Takeaways from Oprah Interviewing Joel Osteen

2012-01-15T18:17:00.000-08:00

On Sunday January 8, 2012, on Oprah's OWN network, aired her interview with the Pastor of the biggest church in America, Joel Osteen. This is a Pastor who is always under heavy scrutiny because of the reputation "Tele-evangalists" have as being crooks, con artists, swindlers, and the like.

I believe Oprah is GREAT at what she does. She interviews others everyone wants to hear from very well by asking penetrating questions that all viewers want to know the answer to. Some of her questions were:

Do you feel you have to defend being a "mega-church"?
Is there truly only one way to heaven?
How would you describe God to a non-believer?
Do you believe homosexuality is a sin?
How do you explain your lifestyle (lavish house, grand piano, etc.)
How's your marriage?
Have you ever doubted your faith?

I believe he answered the questions Oprah threw his way pretty solid. I, more so, were interested in his response to how many paths there were to God and his income. His responses to her questions were very similar to his preaching style; very positive/upbeat and without any negativity. Joel Osteen is truly a positive thinker as he states, "Your problems aren't there to defeat you. They're there to increase you." A large majority of people believe his teaching/preaching style is very one sided. "He preaches the feel good gospel. He is a prosperity teacher. He doesn't preach enough against sin." His response to this was, "I can't please everyone. Either i'm preaching too much of this and not enough of that. Somebody is always going to have something to say. I don't have to answer to anyone but God."

Check out some of these other quotes and takeaways from the interview with Joel as well as his wife and a member of the choir. Enjoy!

"He (God) wants every generation to build and go further."

"I can't be a blessing to others if I'm poor, broke, and depressed."

"Your problems aren't there to defeat you. They're there to increase you."

"Trouble is inevitable. Misery is optional."

"Jesus is the one path to God, but there are many paths to Jesus. You never know who He would reveal himself to others."

"I do believe homosexuality is shown as sin in the scriptures. When I read the scripture, with good faith, it doesn't show that it is not a sin."

"Our message is about the goodness of God."

"It's not a performance. It's worship."
-Julie-Choir Member

"I don't have a lot of ups and downs. It's just contentment." (In response to, "Have you ever doubted your faith?")

"I think he has. I think the people are hungry for a message of hope. I think the way he presents it in a nonjudgmental manner. I think people can receive that from him." (In response to, "Do you think your husband has ascended to the highest point in his career?")
-Victoria Osteen

How did you enjoy the interview?

Some People Won't Be Great...Until They Leave!

2012-01-11T15:20:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! This is my 1st post of 2012. I'm actually excited about this post because it's a concept a lot of people tend to look down upon. First, let me describe how this came about. I was tweeting with my big brother J. Franklyn about the Wizards. We are Wizards fans who are very disappointed with the seasons they've been having in the last, mmmmm lets see...5-7 years or so! Ever since "Agent Zero" went haywire, things just went downhill from there. Through our tweets, we reminisced about the days of old where the Wiz were getting into the playoffs year after year. They did it at least 2-3 years in a row.

Anyway, I tweeted, "Somebody in the Wizards camp will be receiving a pink slip pretty soon." I truly believe they will end up firing Flip Saunders. Not because he's a bad coach, but because he's not having the greatest turnout with the Wiz Kids. He responded, "Rightfully so. The Wiz are like the blackhole of professional basketball. Wall won't be great until he leaves."

My focus of this post is coming from the last sentence in that tweet saying, "Wall won't be great until he leaves." We have seen this scenario play out time after time; mainly in the world of professional sports. An athlete who has GREAT potential, but due to the people around them or coaching, they'll never truly reach their potential if they stay where they are. "I'll be taking my talents to South Beach." Need I say more? This was the biggest and most recent scenario we all seen play out. Can you honestly say you believe LeBron James would've had the same results last season had he stayed with the Cavaliers? If you do, I'm not drinking from that cup of stupid juice! Come on now!

Switching gears for a moment. Relate this concept to your world. What organization, job, position, club, team, relationship, or mindset even are you staying that could potentially keep you from being great? The reason why this is so controversial is because the moment you remove yourself from the environment; chances are great that you'd be labeled a "quitter", "sellout", or "the guy/girl who threw in the towel". I love looking at things from a different perspective.

Sometime ago I read about a concept called "Riding The Wave". This concept pretty much says people don't understand waves. Waves have apexes and waves die. Some waves last longer than others. Some waves are higher than others and different waves come in different seasons. Many people attempt to ride a wave that has already died; as opposed to enjoying it for what it was, how long it lasted, and taking key nuggets from it. I believe its wise to know when to throw in the towel, stop beating a dead horse, or know that it's no longer your season.

Have you outgrown that position you're in? Are you the smartest at the table and need to surround yourself with smarter individuals who think completely different from you? What is that "Thing" keeping you in a position to NOT transition from where you are currently to GREAT?

What Say You? Feel Free To Leave A Comment.

Bye-Bye 2011, Hello 2012! Top 3 Posts from 2011

2011-12-30T17:29:00.000-08:00

2011 has been a GREAT year! Reviewing the stats for "A Closer Look", I was rather impressed with myself. I had no idea I wrote as many posts as I did. It was also good to look at all the posts I have written since I began in April of 2010. So, all in all, I am confident 2011 was a good year of blogging for me (pats self on the back).

I want to first thank all of you for visiting and taking a glance a what goes on in my mind. Secondly, I am anticipating an even better year of blogging in 2012 as I have a feeling big things are going to happen and this is going to continue to be my outlet. Thirdly, I'd like to leave you with my 3 most popular posts of 2011.

1. Marriage: 4 Nuggets From Year 1
2. What Big Cat Diary Can Teach You About Satan.
3. I Smell Feet

Again, I humbly thank everyone for visiting my blog. Enjoy these posts. Happy New Year and can't wait to get writing in 2012.

A McGee Christmas

2011-12-15T17:53:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas people! As always, I appreciate you coming through to support "A Closer Look". The last post I wrote was late November. I've been pretty busy with work and wrapping up my 1st semester of graduate school. This post is just one to get back in the flow since I took a semi-sabbatical for educational reasons. Without further delay, here we go!
In this blog, I just want to simply express how much fun we (Veronica and I) have during Christmas. With us coming upon our 3rd year of marriage, one of our goals were to begin traditions of our own particularly around the holidays.

The 1st tradition we've started is putting up the tree. This isn't just simply putting up the tree, but it involves Christmas Songs (Charlie Brown Christmas Album, Boyz II Men, just to name a few), baking cookies with either Hot chocolate or milk to go with our cookies. We have a blast while doing it too!

The 2nd tradition is putting up our stockings. We both have stockings and the week before/the week of Christmas, we sneak little gifts into each other's stockings. It's hilarious and very fun!

The 3rd tradition is watching Charlie Brown Christmas and A Christmas Story (one of the funniest movies ever).

The 4th tradition we have for Christmas is a HU-GIANT breakfast Christmas morning. Last year, the menu consisted of banana walnut pancakes, omelets, fried potatoes, eggs, turkey bacon, sausage, crescent rolls, grits, and plenty more.

It is truly a Christmas Spirit Filled house with the McGees. An additional tradition we're adopting is service. Of course we try to serve in whatever capacity necessary all year around, however, we emphasize serving around this type of year because our hearts are really big for helping others plus we want to try to be a blessing to others however we can. We also attend Christmas service at our church. My pastor has been saying, "A lot of people love Christmas, but not everyone loves Christ." It'll be very indicative of who loves Christ by how many people will be in the house of the Lord Christmas morning.

What are some of your Christmas traditions?

The McGees

Why Coach K is a Level 5 Leader

2011-11-23T14:26:00.000-08:00

The last couple months in the sports world haven't been the greatest. About a week ago, I tweeted; "There's more DRAMA in sports news than there is SPORTS in sports news." In about the last month or so, there have been a turn of events. The NFL is just about half way through the season with the Packers on top of their game along with the SUPER SUPRISING San Francisco 49ers killing the game right now as well. Eagles are falling apart and Jets' QB Sanchez is in conversations about getting rid of him. On another note, college basketball got underway with the midnight games the other day. This is exciting news compared to the foolishness going on with the NBA right about now. Sidebar: I wonder what those persons who were drafted are doing now/thinking?

The bigger news in sports is Coach K celebrating his 903 win last night over Michigan State Spartans. With this win, he has surpassed coaches like Adolf Rupp, Dean Smith, Jim Boeheim, Jim Calhoun, and the latest hump he had to get over was that of Bob Knight. It was a monumental moment to celebrate as many of his former players were in attendance, past coaching staff, family, friends, and loved ones.

Since I'm in school, I'm not doing too much leisure reading at the moment. My main leisure reading comes from some quick reads like blogs and articles, however, I am reading through Jim Collins', "Good To Great". I knew this book existed for quite a while, but don't ask me why I'm just picking it up. Reading the book and hearing Coach K's remarks last night made me think of how Collins described the different level leaders (Levels 1-5). The way Collins described the leaders in his book, Coach K would fall into the Level 5 Leader Category. I'd have to write a couple blogs to thoroughly express what a Level 5 Leader is, but I will highlight 2 specific things Coach K exemplified during his remarks that exemplify him being a Level 5 Leader.

1. A Level 5 Leader looks through the window vs looking in the mirror.

As Coach K was being interviewed directly after the win over Michigan State, he IMMEDIATELY gave credit to the team, coaching staff, other coaches who have poured into him, and his school. Not once did he glorify his coaching abilities or his strategies that got him his 903rd win. Level 5 Leaders look through the window (affirming those around them) vs Looking in the mirror (affirming themselves).

2. A Level 5 Leader gets the right people on the bus and in the right seats.

The Duke University basketball program is known for recruiting some of the BEST basketball players; Christian Laettner, Grant Hill, Shane Battier, Jason Williams just to name a few. He also made sure he had the right coaching staff surround him and guiding the players (right people). He recruits and hires based upon the need of the program not just because (right seats). Needless to say, Coach K is the one driving the bus having the destination in mind.

I love listening to the people who are successful as well as their process and story leading up to their success. Then I love to see how I can apply the principles to my personal and/or professional life.

Congrats Coach K on Win 903!

Women

2011-11-11T18:59:00.000-08:00

Welcome back family! I’m glad you made it back through to check out another post. This, I feel, is going to be one of my more interesting posts because it tackles SO many issues. I’m also going to warn you. This post is going to be longer than usual. So, here we go...

My brother Brandon called me last Friday, I believe, and asked me had I heard about the stabbing that took place on the campus of Frostburg State University. If you haven’t heard, a stabbing occurred sparking from a conflict between two young adult women at a site off campus. Not even 2 months ago, my alma mater Bowie State University, experienced a similar tragedy just before celebrating our homecoming. This event really grabbed people’s attention because a) it’s the second fatal fight at the Frostburg State University in the last year and a half and b) the second stabbing/death within the last couple months in a University System of Maryland school.

So Drae, are you writing a blogpost about women and violence?

No, not quite. However, I am going to dive into why I believe this situations have occurred and what we need to do in order to prevent any more of these happening. As Brandon and I continued our conversation, we talked about what we believed to be the cause this violence, lack of female role models, parenting, and the like. He mentioned a couple weeks ago how he asked his students who they wanted to be like. Particularly focusing on the young women, the majority of their responses revolved around Beyonce’ or Nicki Minaj. He was very disappointed that those were the two names that floated around the topic of discussion. I believe that to be pretty disappointing as well especially when there are so many gifted influential black women around right now and those who have gone before us. I made a statement that really hit home and resonated with the both of us. “B, I think its television. What if we took a look at what’s on television and what are the more popular shows especially for women now? Basketball Wives, Braxton Family Values, Mafia Wives, Housewives, Bad Girl’s Club, and many more.” What’s my point? My point in naming these shows is that these shows are particularly centered around women and their drama. Not just drama, but drama handled INEFFECTIVELY! More times than enough they end with a drink being thrown in someone’s face, pulling of hair, or some type of scuffle. The difference between what happens on those shows and what we see happening in our society is there are no security guards and stage/camera crews following us around to break-up these scuffles. The results of the scuffles we see are lives taken, people injured, and relationships broken.

Call me pressed, legalistic, or anal, but I talk to V (my wife) often about how much of those shows she watches. Just about every time I happen to walk through the living room or bedroom and she has the television on, I hear a lot of bickering, yelling, and cursing (being bleeped out though). I end up stopping dead in my tracks, watching for a couple moments, and then asking V, “What in the world is going on?” What’s my point? My point is these are the more popular shows that women are watching. They’re also being exposed to the various types of conflict these women are experiencing. My problem is they’re NOT being exposed to how to handle conflict productively or being shown effective conflict resolution skills. I told V, “You got one time to respond to me like these women on these shows respond to their husband or each other.”

Studying Organizational Communication, a couple of the recurring topics discussed are conflict and crisis management. How do you deal with the ugly terms “conflict” and “crisis”. Two of the most ugly words the majority of people run from! Well, reality television gives us a false perception of how we, in this case particularly women, should deal with conflict. I hear it all the time. “Evelyn (cast member from Basketball Wives) is my girl! I love Evelyn.” I’ve seen portions of a couple episodes and it seems as if she is the nucleus of all the drama taking place on the show. And because this is one of the more popular shows on right now, it’s also a hot topic of discussion on Social Media.

Social Media plays a HUGE part in why we don’t handle conflict well. It has given us a false sense of an “outlet” and a mindset of “Now that I put this status up, I finally got this off my chest.”. In a recent talk I did about Organizational Conflict, I was asked the question by one of my cohorts, “Don’t you think we should master handling conflict through technology/social media?” My response was a tactful, respectful, yet simple, “No.” No, because if we must master communication via technology/social media, what will happen to face to face conversations? A lot of people don’t have iPads/Tablets and won’t buy them because they love the feeling of having a book in their hands and turning the pages not swiping their fingers across a screen. The only reason why people went Digital (TV) was because Analog was made obsolete.

So to say we must master handling conflict via technology/social media is to say face to face conversation is going to become obsolete.

There are some “valuables” we cannot afford to sacrifice. If you’re sitting in front of me, you can pick up on a number of things during our conversations: emotion, sensitivity, body language, facial expressions just to name a few. I cannot accurately pick these things up during an exchange via text, email, tweet, and/or wall post. This form of communication has been so popular, law enforcement use twitter and facebook pages as legal evidence to see just what the person tweeted, what they could’ve been feeling when they put that status up, etc.

Last thing and I’m out of here. I promise. A couple weeks ago, I came across a program called Miss-representation. Lisa Ling, Executive Producer & Host of OWN’s Our America, says “As a culture, women are brought up to be fundamentally insecure.” This is a 90 minute film exposing the tactics of how media represents women, which is degrading, violent, demeaning, or sexually offensive. I challenged a large group of women to watch this program to open their eyes to this “elephant in the room”. One of the women interviewed says “A women can’t be what a women can’t see.” I KNOW there are some strong, intelligent women out here however and that’s A BIG HOWEVER; if the media aren’t portraying these type of women as much as they are the “housewives” then that’s all our young girls and teenagers see. In the end and after all this has been said, I want to see women do better. Prove society wrong by being more than just mere objects for men and their fantasies.

Thanks for reading. I’d love to get some of your feedback.

The Fear of the Lord

2011-11-02T16:04:00.000-07:00

I'm sure all of you enjoyed the wisdom given by Byron Washington in his last post on Motivation: What's motivates people to do right and wrong? Well, the Honorable-Minister-Reverend-Dr. Byron Washington (he's gonna get me for this one...LOL) is back with another post. Byron Washington has a portion on his website specifically for his blogs where he shares more of his thoughts with other guest bloggers as well.

Lets see what this post has in store for us.

The Fear of the Lord

As I was thinking about what I should write for this blog, I began to look at the world around us. We are currently getting reading for elections next year and the candidates are on the campaign trail. They are promising to lower taxes, cut spending, increase healthcare, create jobs, and so much more. From a pure policy perspective many of the things they promise could not be done even in an ideal world, but hey who am I to judge (ha).

However, in the last few elections God has become a focal point for gaining votes. People use their “Christian Experience” to identify with certain groups of people in hopes of getting support and contributions.

This becomes problematic. Why? Because God is not a pawn to be used in our political chess games. Let’s think about this: All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made- John 1:3

So we are very casually throwing around our relationship with God, the one who created ALL that we see. ALL things were made by Him, Period. So here is one of the issues in our society, in our politics, and in our social groups…people do not fear God.

Uh oh…now I sound like one of those “old school preachers.” I probably need to modernize my thinking or perhaps become more relevant, because people cannot identify with fearing God. So I probably should talk about more tangible things like, “love, or compassion.” I am not being sarcastic, I am being very real… we no longer reverence the things of God.

Think about our “modern” church. There is very little teaching about having reverence for God. A lot of teaching about what we can get from God, not so much about how we should respect Him.

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding-Proverbs 9:10

The fear of the LORD tendeth to life: and he that hath it shall abide satisfied; he shall not be visited with evil-Proverbs 19:23

Proverbs talk extensively about the fear of the Lord. If we want abundance and favor in our life, then we need to fear the Lord. If we want God to protect our household, then we need to fear the Lord. If we want to reflect the light of Christ in a powerful way, then we need to fear the Lord. If we want long life, then we need to fear the Lord. From the pulpit to the pew, we all need to fear the Lord.

If we want to see God move in our lives, then we need to fear Him. There is too much pride in Christianity; we want people to recognize and reverence us, instead of them reverencing the God that we all should be following.

By humility and the fear of the LORD are riches, and honour, and life-Proverbs 22:4

The fear of the LORD is a fountain of life, to depart from the snares of death-Proverbs 14:27

Before we do anything else…we need to repent, and then begin to walk in reverence and fear of Almighty God and when we do, we will encounter blessings, protection and favor like never before, simply because we chose to fear God and to keep his commandments. Fear God…it is worth it.

The fear of the LORD prolongeth days: but the years of the wicked shall be shortened- Proverbs 10:27

He that walketh in his uprightness feareth the LORD: but he that is perverse in his ways despiseth him-Proverbs 14:2

God Bless and Always Be Encouraged!

B. Washington

Check out more from Byron Washington at www.byronwashington.com

What Is Your Motivation? Created by Byron Washington

2011-10-25T16:04:00.000-07:00

What's up good people?! We're doing things a bit different this week. A couple weeks ago, I was able to attend The Catalyst Conference in Atlanta. Wednesday evening was the Blogger's Meetup and there I was able to meet many bloggers. It wasn't just cool to put actual personalities with live bodies, but it was also cool to pick the brains of those who blog and are really successful at it. One blogger told me to not be afraid to switch things up a bit and have guest bloggers. This is exactly what I'm doing this week.

I have a guest blogger who has contributed this post to Simply Dondrae this week. It's a great friend of mine, Byron Washington. Byron and I met back in 2003 through a mutual friend of ours, Martin Copeland (who doesn't know yet, but he'll be guest blogging for me VERY soon...haha). We all attended the Impact Conference in D.C. Since then, Byron has accomplished many great things. He has earned a couple degrees, done many speaking engagements, preached, wrote a book, and the biggest of them all; GOT MARRIED TO PHENOMENAL WOMAN, RACHEL!

Byron Washington is an author, youth mentor, minister and husband who wants to see people changed and empowered through the Word of God.

I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me-Romans 7:18-20, 21 (NIV)

What is your motivation for doing the right thing?

Some Christians would give the typical “Christian” response and say, “I do not want to offend God,” or maybe, “Because I do not want to go to hell.”

Both of those are good responses, but let’s be honest, do those things actually motivate or push most Christians to actually do the right thing? I would venue to say probably not.

Think about it. The last time you decided to do something wrong, you knew it was not a good thing, you knew it was not pleasing to God and if Jesus came back while you were in your sinful condition you could have gone to hell. Yet and still you did it anyhow.

The fear of the LORD prolongeth days: but the years of the wicked shall be shortened-Proverbs 10:27

The fear of the LORD is a fountain of life, to depart from the snares of death-Proverbs 14:27

Most Christians talk about doing the right things; however, God is probably not the top motivating force for many of us. Why? Because very few, if any of us, have actually seen God pour out his wrath. Trust me, if fornicators, liars, adulterers, or gossipers started getting consumed by fire from heaven, I’m telling you people would change their whole way of living. But, because God is not currently doing that, people ignore his judgment and think they can do what they want and just repent about it later.

Should that be the case? No. But for many people it is. So my question is this…what is your true motivation for doing what is right? Many people do not do certain things because they fear going to jail, or fear being exposed. You choose not to let your flesh lead you down that path because it will destroy your marriage, or it could be harmful to your children. Or you do not want to lose your job or destroy people’s perception of you. See many of us are motivated to do right, because of those things around us that are tangible. Is this problematic? It depends.

Take a moment this week and write down the things that you struggle with, that you constantly fight against and be honest with yourself, what motivates you to stay away from those things? What makes you say no, to going back to the bar? What makes you walk away from that old girlfriend who keeps calling you and you are married? What makes you walk away from the computer and not look at pornography?

Find out what truly motivates you, then begin to seek God and ask Him 1.) to continue to help you be victorious over the traps and enticements of this world, 2.) ask God to help you make Him your top priority for not yielding to sin.

And it came to pass after these things that his master’s wife cast longing eyes on Joseph, and she said, “Lie with me.” But he refused and said to his master’s wife, “Look, my master does not know what is with me in the house, and he has committed all that he has to my hand. There is no one greater in this house than I, nor has he kept back anything from me but you, because you are his wife. How then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?”-Genesis 39:7-9

God should be our top reasons for not indulging in sin. These other options are good, but God should be the main reason.

Blessed is the man that feareth the LORD, that delighteth greatly in his commandments-Psalm 112:1

Blessed is every one that feareth the LORD; that walketh in his ways-Psalm 128:1

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding-Proverbs 9:10

So what’s your motivation for doing what’s right?

Brands!

2011-10-17T15:19:00.000-07:00

There's a lot of talk surrounding the term, "BRAND". People are throwing it around loosely these days. Build your "BRAND". What type of "BRAND" do you have? What type of "BRAND" do you want to build? Generic "BRAND" vs Name "BRAND? What's the difference? Does it really matter which you buy?
I must admit, I talk to my clients all the time about building your BRAND as an employee/job seeker. What type of employee would you like to be known for? What makes you different from everyone else who has the same skill set as you.
From a company standpoint, there aren't many companies out here that solely offer a service. I mean, think about it. There's Chipotle and Qdoba. McDonalds and Burger King. Mr. Tire and Tires Plus. Dominos and Pizza Hut. I could go on and on. At some point, as a consumer, you should ask yourself; "what makes me choose one over the other?" In my personal opinion, a brand can be created by many things such as quality, customer service, convenience, or price. Whichever it is, that's what make up that particular company's BRAND. Prime example. If you've ever noticed when you go to Chik-Fil-A and you say "Thank You". Their response will be "My Pleasure" instead of the common "You're Welcome". That's apart of their BRAND. You'll also notice, they only play Gospel music in their restaurant. BRAND.
I'll speak of two examples regarding brand. I'm a Facilitator/Trainer & Developer for persons attempting to re-enter the workforce. I train them in areas such as interviewing skills, resume writing, conflict resolution skills, etc. These clients are with me for 30 days. After that, they go to another service provider that has another person who does something similar. Last week, a group of my clients came to visit me telling me a story about their new facilitator saying, "I'm better than Mr. McGee." Long story short, MY CLIENTS WENT OFF! They practically started a riot in my defense and on my behalf (haha). Although myself and this person offered the same service; our delivery, style, and everything in between was different. We had different brands and to my clients, mine was the more favorable (*fist pump*).

My next example is centered around the release of the iPhone 4s. I tend to ask myself, whenever people try to down talk any Apple product, "when was the last time you've seen people lined up outside over the latest Droid or Blackberry?" By no means am I downplaying either of those markets, but it is a valid question. Feel free to answer. I was conversing with my uncle about the Siri feature and his response was, "Droid been had that feature." I didn't think until later, "Why hadn't I ever heard about it? and Why hasn't anyone been speaking so highly of it?" I believe it's because of the BRAND it's connected to. The Apple BRAND has been nothing short of perfection (in my opinion). Go into Panera Bread or a Starbucks and take a look around. As a matter of fact, I was in Atlanta two weeks ago for Catalyst. Throughout the entire Gwinett Arena, there was nothing but Apple products (iPhones, iPod touches, MacBooks/Pros, and iPads). If I collected ALL the Apple products there, I'd probably be able to retire!
What's your personal BRAND? What BRANDS do you like? What Say you?

Who's PRESENT at the table?

2011-10-07T20:55:00.000-07:00

I'm writing this post while wrapping up an AMAZING 3 days at Catalyst 2011 in Atlanta, Georgia. With so much to process, unpack, apply, pour out, and all the other things I need to do after the conference; I'm processing (on a lower scale) what my 1st Catalyst experience was like. I did have some type of expectation coming into the conference via watching past clippings of Catalysts, following guys on twitter who are connected to the conference, and lastly speaking to those who have been before. I am SO pleased with what I experienced this week. It was well worth my time, energy, and sleepless nights.

I capped off my Catalyst Experience with dinner amongst some GOOD company who all reside back home in the DMV. This year's theme for Catalyst was "Be Present". While everyone chat, chewed, conversed, and joked; I couldn't do anything but take a glimpse around the dinner table. I noticed a couple of things.

There was so much laughter: It was great to literally laugh til' I could barely breathe. And the majority of my laughter took place in the exchanges between myself and a couple other guys I met that same night! As we left, my jaws were hurting so bad. That's how much I laughed tonight and it was fun.
I was surrounded by special and gifted individuals: I was surrounded by people not who just have gifts and talents, but THEIR GIFTS AND TALENTS ARE EXTREMELY DIFFERENT FROM MINE. I believe I have the gift of teaching, speaking, and relating. Tonight I was surround by Pastors, Worship Leaders, Singers, Musicians, and Athletic Coaches. It was just awesome to be around people who were DIFFERENT than me yet so similar in that our passion for what we are passionate about are the same. We were all PRESENT at Catalyst to gain more as to how we can keep the fire lit for our PASSION.
We were ALL PRESENT: There was always 2 conversations going on at one time, but everyone was engaged to whatever topic was at hand. Nobody was engulfed in their cell phones the entire time at dinner. At times, one person would be speaking to everyone at the table and EVERYONE WAS SO ENGAGED.

T.D. Jakes said at the last Catalyst (and I'm paraphrasing), "If you're the smartest person at the table, GET UP!" My interpretation of this is I must surround myself with individuals whose passions are different, level of thinking is different, mindset is different, and most importantly...SMARTER THAN ME. Not in a sense that I'm the dumbest person at the table, but these people can challenge my way of thinking, my perspective, pour into me, and help build me up.

I couldn't have chosen a better way to cap off my experience at Catalyst besides Being Present at the table with some great individuals.

Catalyst 2011

2011-10-05T20:15:00.000-07:00

This October 5-7, myself and two of my guys are in Atlanta for Catalyst. For those of you who are dropping by my blog and have no idea what Catalyst is; it is a conference of dynamic speakers, activists, and leaders pouring into other leaders non stop. A couple names that are included are Mark Batterson, Francis Chan, TD Jakes, and Lecrae Moore.

I didn't get to know about Catalyst until I joined Twitter over a year ago. I began to follow people like Scott Williams, Andy Stanley, and Brad Lomenick. These guys would constantly tweet about this event. Well, finally...here I am. This year's theme is "Be Present" and I can most certainly say that I am. After driving through the night from Maryland, I was only able to get about 2 hours of sleep. That really doesn't count though because sleep in the car kinda doesn't count as "real sleep". I do have a 5 Hour Energy on stand by for tomorrow, which I think I'm definitely going to need.

I learned a lot today and I only went to the Labs, which are like preliminary sessions before the main event sessions on Thursday and Friday. The topics I learned about were "Circling Jericho" from Mark Batterson, "Missional Living in the Urban Context" from Lecrae Moore, "The Multiplier Effect: Essentials to Leading Business, Politics, and Ministry" from Lisa Borders, and "Breaking the Mold: Leadership from a Different Angle" from Mary Graham/Jo Saxton/and Jeanne Stevens. And to top the day off, I had an AWESOME evening with some fellow bloggers at the Catalyst Blogger Meetup at a nearby restaurant called California Dreaming. It was awesome connecting with other bloggers and getting their insight, perspective, and various ways, tactics, and strategies to blogging.

Can't wait to see what Catalyst has in store for me tomorrow.

Mediated Communication

2011-09-27T21:04:00.000-07:00

Hey Simply Dondrae Followers! Please excuse my absence from my blog. It’s been close to a month since I’ve last blogged. It’s for a good reason. I just started my Master’s program at Bowie State University. I’m getting my Master’s in Organizational Communications: Public Affairs. Classes started on the 1st of September for me so I’ve been getting the necessary reading, writing, and studying done in order to start off well and prayerfully finish well also. You should be proud of me.

The information, concepts, and theories I’m learning about are SO AWESOME! I’m having a blast so far! One of the bigger reasons I’m enjoying my program so much is because I’m able to connect this information, concepts, and theories to what I’ve been doing for the last 3 years of my career and real life situations.

One of the latest concepts we’ve discussed in one of my classes was Mediated Communication. Mediated Communication speaks to how media and technology plays such a HUGE influence on the way we communicate. A perfect example I thought of relating to Mediated Communication is my birthday that just passed on September 8th. My inbox was ASSAULTED with HUNDREDS of Tweets, Facebook posts, and I received many text messages. All of SEVEN people actually PICKED UP THE PHONE called me/ left me a voicemail. I love Social Media (member of Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin), however, I am aware of the drawbacks it has as well.

Three specific areas I’m going to touch on that are affected by the concept of Mediated Technology are Religion, Academics, and Socially.

Socially: In the aforementioned example about my birthday, it just goes to show that picking up the phone is “too much” nowadays. A point one of my professors made was you can tell the insecurity of a person who may be in a social environment yet they spend most, if not all, their time on their cell phone. Prior to the cell phone reaching the level of capacity it’s at today, those persons used to be called “Wall Flowers.” I was picking up a pizza from Ledo’s one night when I noticed a family of four sitting at a table to the right of me; Mom, Older Sister, Younger Brother, and Baby Brother. Conversation about everyone’s day? No. Mom pouring into her kids? No. Possibly asking how their days were at school? Not Even! All parties at the table were on their cell phones...INCLUDING THE BABY BROTHER WHO HAD TO HAVE BEEN ABOUT 5-6. Families are not connecting anymore, which in turn causes the parent-child relationship to suffer and, if not given healthy attention, fail.

Academics: I have fell victim to this particular area myself. The other day I had to take notes (handwritten) in one of my classes from a powerpoint created by my professor. WHAT A GRUELING PROCESS?!?!?! My penmanship has gone down drastically because I haven’t had to do much handwriting in comparison to how much time I spend typing on a computer. Flip-side, I can type somewhere around 60-70 wpm (i don’t even know if that’s good! lol). This does not just effect me, but it’s effecting our younger generation. I taught 5th grade a couple years ago and one of the main focuses was on students writing BCR’s (Brief Constructed Responses). What I noticed, as I scored the BCR’s, was a lot of text talk. Punctuation was missing, incomplete thoughts and sentences were throughout the BCR’s, and Ight (alright) U (you) 4 (for) were included.

Religion: This topic I find to be very interesting. A lot of my friends attend “Bedside Baptist” or tune into their favorite Televangelist quite often. So much so, some of them don’t even give it an honest effort to get up to give God His, as my pastor made it clear in a sermon sometime time ago, WORTHship (worship). In other words, God is worth WAY much more than we could ever imagine. The least we can do is make our way to church Sunday mornings. More of an effort is given to make it to work during the week or to see a friend, or even to a mall to catch that sale. “Well, I have a pretty difficult week ahead of me so I’ll just tune in online.” “I’m going to the Skins game today and it starts at 1pm and you know how that 202 traffic is?” “My week was so busy last week. I’ll just use this week to stay in bed and relax. I’ll watch the sermon online when they post it on Tuesday. Besides, I deserve it.” These are just a couple of the things people say to justify their lack of attendance on Sundays. Clearly, the bible speaks about forsaking the fellowship of the saints and how we need to participate in corporate worship.

Please don’t get me wrong. I am very grateful for all the convenience, interactiveness, and technological advances Media and Internet has given/is giving us. However, too much of anything can be a bad thing.

What advantages or drawbacks to you see or have experienced with Social Media or technology and in what aspects of life?

I SUCK AS A HUSBAND...

2011-08-30T13:10:00.000-07:00

I didn't have a "figure" to look at pertaining to what the head of a household, a father, a provider, protector, nourisher, Pastor, a shepherd looked like. To be quite frank, I never entertained the thought of becoming any of the aforementioned people. Now, I pride myself on wearing the following hats. Truth be told though; I suck at it.

"That's pretty extreme Drae. You're a great {insert title}. You're going to make an even better {insert different title}. Keep on doing what you're doing."

It may be a bit extreme, but I'd rather see things this way and PUSH to get better as opposed to think I've arrived and fall from the extreme height of arrogance. " Where'd this come from? In a prior post, you were just talking about what you did to nurture your marriage." Very true. Here's the answer to your question.

One of my favorite pastors is Tony Evans. Earlier this month, he conducted a series for husbands; "Becoming Your Wife's Savior, Sanctifier, and Satisfier." In a total of 6 messages (2 parts each "S"), Evans unravels scripturally how we {husbands} should respond in order to become our wives as Savior, Sanctifier, and Satisfier. It's WAY too much to put here in the post. I'd do the series NO JUSTICE attempting to. I urge you to take a listen to all the parts and take a look introspectively at how you can get better.

http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/the-alternative/listen/

Through this series, I was able to look at how I respond to my wife differently. Instead of what she may not be doing, (asking the question) "have I done what I was supposed to?" A great point Evans pontificates is, "We {husbands} want to sanctify our wives, but haven't, and sometimes refuse to, become her savior first...because only a savior can sanctify." In other words, have we died to ourselves? What sacrifices have I made to meet her needs? Do I serve her? These are just a few things the Savior did for us.

I heard once before, "{Coming from a single man} Being married is easy. You only have one woman to please. (versus a single man having it harder because he has a multiple of women to please)." I beg to differ. Anyone can be pleased, but how many people can stick with someone day in and day out when the days are bright and others are grim? Sure you can find the perfect date, but what a blessing it is to be with someone who has been CHOSEN;HANDPICKED to perfect you.

I'm done. Got work to do.

I nurture my marriage

2011-08-26T17:48:00.000-07:00

How do you nurture your marriage? I've found myself in a very peculiar place within the last 5-7 months particularly in my marriage. Let me assure you, it's a good place. It's nothing bad.

Ever so often, I'm reminded of how I SO don't deserve to lead my wife and often times; it even brings me to tears. Positionally, I'm placed out front for a number of reasons.

1) Protection

2) Sight/Vision

3)Responsibility

Well, rewind about a couple months back; Veronica and I had a "check in" conversation. I brought to her attention somethings I foresaw headed in our direction, which would challenge our faith, diligence, character, and our marriage. We were forced to take our faith level up to another level. My pastor said about a month ago at bible study, "A faith untested is a faith unproven." These were a number of areas we really needed to trust God with in our lives and if we didn't, I can only imagine how we would've been impacted.

Now fast forward to now, we've made it through! Now here's how I nurture my marriage. Sure there are many ways, however, I want to focus on one specific way regarding this situation and how beneficial it is to your marriage. Sharing my vision with my wife prepared her mentally for what was about to take place so it didn't catch her off guard. I also told her what I needed from her and how much I needed her during this time as well I how pivotal she'd be in us making it through. Now here's how I nurtured my marriage. After it was all said and done, the storm was over, we made it out the tunnel and....

we celebrated.

"That's it Drae?", you're probably saying. And my response is, "Yes." We celebrated. I made plans for us to go out to dinner to a place we've never been before for such the auspicious occasion. Here's how celebrating nurtures my marriage:

1)It gives my wife and I an idea of what a "win" looks like to us. This is also a momentum booster, which leads to a healthy and comfortable climate in the home.

2)I Big-Up my wife! I really emphasize how well of a job she did throughout the process. It shows her SHE MATTERS.

3)It builds our character and faith. At times, all you need to get through something new is reflecting on how you got through something of old.

What ways do you nurture your marriage?

I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR DATENITE!

2011-08-18T07:00:00.000-07:00

Me: So, when's the last time y'all (you and your spouse) went out on a date? You know...the movies, dinner, a walk at a park?

Random Person: Date?! Please... (insert whatever excuse for not being able to i.e. kids, work, school, family issues, lack of energy, etc.)

The random person is no person in particular rather it's a number of people I've spoken to over the last couple of years or so. At first, I just didn't worry about it, but when I got married I started to understand the significance and severity of a "Datenite". Marriage is SO cool to me because it allows me to create something so ordinary into some so EXTRA-ordinary. So many people view marriage as a burden or just something to do. Well, I'm trying to make my marriage enjoyable by making it a pleasurable experience rather than a burdensome experience. Veronica and I do Datenite EVERY Thursday. Don't ask me why we picked Thursday; i have no idea! It looks different for us from week to week too. We've got a subscription to Netflix (AWESOMENESS) so often times, we can spend a chill evening in the house, have dinner, and watch a movie or two. We're also subscribed to livingsocial.com (AWESOMENESS), which gives us ideas for things to do at a VERY REASONABLE cost.

We've made it a priority to us so therefore our friends, family, and loved ones also respect it as a priority. So many times, one of my guys will ask me what I'm doing on a Thursday evening and then catch themselves and say, "Oh never mind, that's Datenite." or even my guys will ask me, "Hey man, what y'all do for Datenite last night?"

Here are 3 reasons why Datenite is MUST in your marriage:

1-It's a time to CONNECT and a time for CHECK-IN. This is the time where with all the stuff going on in your individual lives, you can say, "Hey, how are things going on the job? In the ministry? With your friend? How are we doing? Is there anything you need to talk to me about that you haven't had the opportunity to? Etc." Most marriages have conflict because too many things fly "Under The Radar". Use this time (weekly) to Check-In and Connect. In order to connect with your spouse, you're going to have to disconnect from others and other things. NO CELLPHONES, iPADS, LAPTOPS, WORDS WITH FRIENDS, SPORTS, REALITY TV, ANGRY BIRDS, GIRLFRIENDS, AND HOMEBOYS. I read somewhere doing a study on Cyberbullying that over 60% of teens feel stressed out when they're disconnected from technology. Sad, yet, I wonder what is the statistics look like for adults.

2-Have Fun. Do something you usually don't do. Go somewhere you usually don't go. Let your hair down. *IN MY MICHAEL JACKSON VOICE* PUT THAT 9 TO 5 UP ON THE SHELF...AND JUST ENJOY YOURSELF! Flirt with your spouse. Date them. Put your arm around them. Be silly. Just have fun! Get fresh, nice and cleaned up or as my gram would say, "Put Your Glad Rags On!" Get creative with your Datenites. Google Reader is a great resource as well. I subscribe to a blog called "Free Things in D.C." and they send me all types of events, concerts, exhibits, outdoor movies, etc. taking place in the DMV for free or very inexpensive. Bottom line....HAVE FUN!

3-Refuel. Sometimes, this is exactly what you need to get your "mojo" back to get through the rest of the work week, lift your spirits, re-energize yourself, or whatever. It's most certainly therapeutic because the only things important at the moment is your mate, connecting with them, and having a good time. There are so many times where you've been out and had a good time with friends, family, or loved ones and afterward you're thinking to yourself, "Sheesh, I really needed that." That is very much true for me. Our Datenites do just that for me. It doesn't matter what type of week I'm having at work or even if Veronica and I haven't had the best beginning of the week. I know and can bank on Datenite reeling me back in.

Three statements I'd like to make are the following:

A) I've been married for 1 year and 6 months.

B) Veronica and I do not have kids.

C) Andy Stanley said in one of his talks, "STAGES of life dictate the PACE of life."

I made the first 2 statements because I know that's probably what somebody reading this who may have a couple kids and who've probably been married a lot longer than I have, which is cool. However, the quote trumps all circumstances; mine and yours. Sure, it's very easy for Veronica and I to do Datenites every week, get up and go, yada yada yada because we're newlyweds and have no children. However, just because you've been married longer and have a couple kids; that doesn't mean you cannot Check-in and Connect, Refuel, and Have Fun with your spouse. You just have to do it at a different pace then someone who doesn't have those variables. Make it work! Enough of the excuses. I heard in a sermon a couple weeks ago from Jumaine Jones that "Excuses are tools of incompetence used to build monuments of nothingness." Quit making rationalizations, justifications, and get it done. Besides...it's only your marriage.

Last thing and I'm outta here. I saw this and it crushed my heart. There was a father who worked REALLY hard. He even brought his work home with him often. His daughter would ask him to read her a story, tuck her in, play with her, talk to her, but his response was, "Not right now. Daddy is busy." One day the daughter asked him, 'Dad, how much do you get paid an hour?" In shock, the father looked at his daughter and said, "EXCUSE ME?!" "How much do you get paid an hour daddy?!?!?!", she exclaimed. He told her and she darted upstairs. She ran back down with her piggy bank, dumped all of the coins and dollar bills she had in it and said, "How much time will this get me?"

Make time for Quality and Connect time with your spouse so they don't have the same attitude as the little girl in the aforementioned example. We don't have to say what we value because our actions will CLEARLY relay the message for us.

Now, do you have time for Datenite?

The iLife

2011-07-11T05:25:00.000-07:00

A great friend of mine, Byron Washington, asked me to do a guest blog appearance on his blog a couple weeks ago and this is the piece I wrote. I HIGHLY recommend his blog. He has a lot to share along with great insight. Check him out at http://byronwashington.com/byrons-blog/

iPad, iPhone, iMac, iTouch, iTunes, iBooks, iHome, and the iPod; just to name a few. These days technology runs the world via cell phones, computers, and the latest/flashiest/shiniest of them all, tablets. Apple is crushing the market since they have at least two generations of each device I’ve aforementioned. The history of Apple and these “i” products all began with the iMac back in 1998 then came the iPod in 2001. Well, it’s without secret, the “i” in these products stands for individual. In other words, everyone can have an iPod, but it will be person specific, tailored to the individual. It’s setup the way they want it. It has the songs they like. It has the artists they love. The iPod is the color they want.

This principal can be a bit scary as some individuals try to turn many things into an “i” product (a product meant to fit them and ONLY them) that doesn’t need to be. iCompany, iMarriage, iFinances (in the context of a husband and wife), and most interestingly iChristianity.

The iChristianity mindset says, “I want to serve Jesus the way I want to, in the way that makes me comfortable, when I want to, and so I can get whatever I want.” Sorry to burst your bubble, but guess what…

BECOMING A CHRISTIAN AND WALKING WITH GOD HAS NEVER BEEN ABOUT YOU AND WILL NEVER BE ABOUT YOU.

Christ speaks to this particular subject utilizing the same words on four separate occasions. The scripture addresses are Matthew 16:25, 10:39 and Luke 9:24, 17:33. In these verses, He repeats, “For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.” That’s a loaded statement! It’s a loaded statement he decided to repeat 3 more times, which indicates it has huge significance on our perspective of walking with Him in addition He tells them what NOT to do in order to save their life...which is, LOSE IT!

Are there some benefits to walking with God and serving Him? Sure there are, however…HOWEVER, do not, for one moment, allow somebody to paint a utopia like picture that when we receive Christ everything is fixed and perfect. Paul says in 2^nd Corinthians 4:8-11, “we are persecuted, but not abandoned; we are knocked down, but not destroyed, always carrying around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be made visible in our body.” Paul continues to speak about the trials we’ll endure and then says this beginning at verse 14, “We do so because we know that the one who raised up Jesus will also raise us up with Jesus and will bring us with you into his presence. For all these things are for your sake, so that the grace that is including more and more people may cause thanksgiving to increase to the glory of God. Therefore we do not despair, but even if our physical body is wearing away, our inner person is being renewed day by day. For our momentary, light suffering is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison because we are not looking at what can be seen but at what cannot be seen. For what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal.”

In Matthew 16 and Luke 9, just before he makes his repeated statement, He addresses SELFISHNESS. Christianity is about being SELFLESS. If one becomes a follower of Christ mainly because of what they can get out of it and not consider the SUFFERING that comes with being a follower of Christ; they’re in for a mean surprise. Paul gives us a glimpse in 2^nd Corinthians of what the reward is when we remove the “i” from in front of Christianity. He describes it as an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison…WOW. No Cross. No Crown. In other words, if you aren’t willing to take up your cross for Christ, you’ll get no crown from Him. Christ wants our Faith to be certified. A faith that experiences no suffering is an unproven faith.

As I close, Christianity has very little to actually do with us. He not only saves us, but we’re saved FOR HIM. God must use His children to be His hands and His feet here on earth. If we are living the iLife with an iChristianity mindset, we are living a life displeasing to God. One living a life pleasing to God would have a posture and a heart such as this (as the old folk might say):

I’m just a NOBODY, trying to tell EVERYBODY, about SOMEBODY, who can SAVE ANYBODY.

Are you living the iLife?

Leadership From Charles Xavier

2011-06-16T07:05:00.000-07:00

"There's something much more scarce, something rarer than ability. It is the ability to recognize ability."

~Robert Half

Last Thursday was a rather eventful day. Well, actually, every Thursday is eventful because Thursdays are my datenights with my wife! But this particular Thursday was different. The last couple datenights have taken place in the house. Don't ask me why; they just have. This time we made our way out to downtown Silver Spring to visit one of our favorite restaurants; Eggspectations (Get the Crabdip!) and checkout X-Men: First Class. That same night was Game 5 of the NBA Finals so I had to DVR that. Again, don't ask me why, but we didn't get home until somewhere after midnight-ish and I watched the ENTIRE game 5! Needless to say, Friday was pretty tough for me.

Anyway, X-Men was one of the best movies I've seen in a LONG time. Despite the rebuttal and criticism I may receive from this from a couple of guys of mine; I'm sticking to my guns! LOL! There were SO many underlying messages in that movie; it was ridiculous! For example, how Mystique and Beast weren't comfortable as themselves and how they kept wanting to change their appearance to humans. Another message was how Magneto couldn't control his telepathic powers because he allowed his anger to get in the way.

The message I'd like to shine light on comes from the meaning of the quote at the very top of this post by Robert Half.

"There's something much more scarce, something rarer than ability. It is the ability to recognize ability."

I love this quote because it shines light on what people tend to lose sight of so easily. Everyone wants to give props to the athletes, but what about the systems they were operating in? Those systems came from the mastermind of the coach, the trainer, the developer. Yeah, MJ, Pippen, Kobe, and Shaq are multi-time champions, but what offensive set allowed it? THE TRIANGLE by Basketball Mastermind Phil "Zen Master" Jackson!

The same with Professor X in X-Men: First Class, played by James McAvoy. He set out with Magneto recruiting those he knew had special powers along with potential. Once he got them all together, he did four specific things leaders should take note of:

SOUGHT THEM OUT AND IDENTIFIED POTENTIAL (Recruit)
POURED INTO THEM (Invest/Establish relationship/Train and Develop)
PULLED THE BEST OUT OF THEM (Challenge them to reach their truest potential)
CELEBRATE (Affirmed them when they produced)

What Big Cat Diary Can Teach You About Satan

2011-06-08T08:28:00.000-07:00

As the NBA season is coming to a close and the NFL season isn't looking to promising; SportsCenter is filled with the latest scandals regarding NCAA Ball Clubs (S/O TO Ohio State and USC Football...SMH) Tiger Woods taking time away to have surgery, and LOTS and LOTS OF BASEBALL! Needless to say, I've had to find something else to watch in the mornings while getting ready for work.

While perusing the channels one morning, I stumbled across the show Big Cat Diary. Now, the funny thing is, I LOATHE CATS! CAN'T STAND THEM! However, the wild cats i find to be most intriguing.

In this particular episode, a lioness named Tamu is placed in a threatening position as she has to protect her cubs from an adult male lion who is TWICE her size! The adult male lion was preying on Tamu's cubs and as he attempted to go in for the kill, Tamu strikes out of nowhere chasing off the adult male lion.

This situation lasted all of a minute and a half yet has 2 HUGIANT (Huge and Giant) Nuggets to offer regarding satan and the family.

The Absentee Father/Husband Lion- Nowhere in this segment did they talk about Tamu's HEADSHIP, her COUNTERPART, her LEADER, her SHEPHERD, her HUSBAND. Husbands, let this resonate with you as the possibility of what could very well happen if you were to walk out or not be present in your home. One of the worst things us husbands can do is REMOVE THE COVERING FROM OVER OUR FAMILY; OUR WIFE AND CHILDREN. When/If that does happen, we open up the door for satan; inviting him into territory he DOES NOT belong. Thankfully Tamu stepped up and protected the cubs, however, God didn't call the wife to that responsibility. That's for the husband.

1st Peter 5:8 "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour." What greater illustration must you need to support this scripture?! The adult male lion was most certainly seeking out who he wanted to devour; which is exactly what would've happened had he got a hold of those innocent cubs. the other significance of the illustration regarding this scripture is WHO the adult male sought out to devour; THE CUBS! Satan is after families and if he can't get the parents; he's going after the children. This should cause husbands and wives to be SOBER and VIGILANT by providing the covering necessary and constantly pouring the TRUTH into their children as society inundates them with LIES via television, music, Internet, etc.

One of my bros and I will often see or hear something and respond, "OH THAT CAN PREACH REAL GOOD!" This truly shows how God has renewed my mind (Romans 12:2) in that the smallest things can minister a message so powerful.

Who Am I?

2011-05-16T19:01:00.000-07:00

Sometime ago, I was able to get my hands on this poem that really resonated with me. I wanted to share it with you to get some feedback as well as see if anyone is able to figure out just "Who I Am?" So, here we go...

Who Am I?

I am your constant companion. I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden. I will push you onward or drag you down to failure. I am completely at your command. Half the things you do you might just as well turn over to me and I will be able to do them quickly and correctly.

I am easily managed - you must merely be firm with me. Show me exactly how you want something done and after a few lessons I will do it automatically. I am the servant of all great individuals and, alas, of all failures, as well. Those who are great, I have made great. Those who are failures, I have made failures.

I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine plus the intelligence of a human. You may run me for a profit or run me for ruin - it makes no difference to me.

Take me, train me, be firm with me, and I will place the world at your feet. Be easy with me and I will destroy you.

Who Am I?

***Comment with your responses and I'll give the answer 48 hours after I post this.***

Marriage Chronicles: Write It Down

2011-05-15T18:54:00.000-07:00

Habakkuk 2:2-3

The the Lord replied: "Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it. For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.

As a Godly husband, I've been charged with being a VISIONARY and the LEADER of my family. As of right now, my family consists of my wife , Veronica, and I. I can honestly say I've never DREAMED so BIG and INTENTIONALLY in my entire life prior to becoming married.

A couple weeks after Veronica and I got married, I decided to create the "McGee Movement". The McGee Movement is charted out goals and benchmarks for my wife and I for the next couple years. After creating it, V and I looked at it, tweeked it a bit, and prayed over it. We asked God to not only bless our desires, but if He had something in store for us different from what we wrote down that we would be okay with it.

About 3-4 weeks ago, after having a conversation with V about where we are/where we're going, I felt as if I failed. I felt as if I wasn't doing a good job of being a VISIONARY and LEADER for my family. I apologized to her and promised her I'd do a better job. The following day, I just so happened to be going through the docs on my laptop and came across The McGee Movement I'd written last year. I read over it and everything I wrote down last year; we either a) ACHIEVED the goal, b) EXCEEDED the goal, or c) are ON TRACK to achieving the goal!

PRAISE GOD!

The timing was IMPECCABLE for me to read The McGee Movement after apologizing to V and getting down on myself about feeling as if I wasn't doing a good enough job as a husband/visionary/leader.

Since then, we have tweeked The McGee Movement and have added some additional goals and milestones we'd like to reach as a TEAM. I'm so excited about checking it again in another 6 months to a year to see what God has allowed us to accomplish.

Write It Down...

I Smell Feet

2011-04-26T15:38:00.000-07:00

Blank stare…“McGee, where are you shoes?”… “McGee, you look like you on a beach somewhere.”… “Ummm, You do realize you don’t have on any shoes, right?”… “OMG, for a second, I thought you had on a brown pair of shoes!”

These were just a few of the comments I received Wednesday April 20, 2011 as I went “One Day Without Shoes”. Just so you know “One Day Without Shoes”, founded by Blake Mycoskie (TOMS Shoes) is a worldwide campaign that took place on April 5, 2011. For that day, everyone did not wear shoes…. AT ALL. No shoes…No Socks…ALL DAY! The purpose of the campaign is to raise the awareness of those who suffer from not having shoes to wear as well as acknowledging podoconiosis, which is a foot disease. Another part of the campaign is purchasing a pair of shoes called “Toms” and when you do that; you actually are donating a pair of shoes to someone who is in need. I know I was two weeks off with the date, but I was so convicted when I saw the campaign; I decided to do it anyway.

Apart of me is doing this for the awareness however; another part of me is doing this for a reason completely opposite. A local church here in P.G. County is Zion Church where lead Pastor, Keith Battle has coined the phrase: “Zion church is a MOVEMENT, not a monument.” A couple Sundays ago I was pleasantly surprised yet convicted when he preached the beginning of a LIFE CHANGING-PERSPECTIVE ALTERING series called “The Poor Series”. My wife and I visited that day and experienced him preach that sermon dressed and made up as a homeless man. STUNNING!... to say the least. The main takeaway from this message was “God is for the poor.” (Scripture Reference Psalm 41:1-5/Proverbs 19:17)

Since then, I’ve constantly thought about my attitude, perspective, reactions toward the poor, homeless, or less fortunate. God has definitely been using his shepherds to get this message across to His children because sometime last month, a pastor elsewhere went 30 calendar days homeless. He swapped out his nice, comfortable lifestyle to experience first hand what it felt like to be homeless. And this wasn’t a “I’ll be homeless from sun up to sun down then go back home to my family.” but 30 CALENDAR DAYS-ALL DAY of homelessness. STRIKING!

Not coincidental at all, about a week later, someone very near and dear to me called and told me they had a particular need that caused my wife and I to give of our finances, time, and resources. This also caused Veronica and I to set aside a portion of our incomes solely for the use of someone else’s need.

This morning, I hit the send button on my tweet deck app sending out the following tweet and FB status, “Dear God, Break my heart with the things that break Yours. Let me see things and people the way You see them.” My attitude, perspective, and heart toward the poor, homeless, and less fortunate haven’t been the greatest and I’ve asked God to forgive me of that. I’m no millionaire, however at times; I can act as if I have it all. Buying shoes/clothes just because I want some and not even wearing them. Wasting food that I very well could give away and the like.

I sent out the above tweet/FB status because if I call myself a follower of Christ, the things the hurt Him should hurt me. The way He sees things; I should view them the same. By a long shot, I’m nowhere near perfect.

I may not be where I want to be, but thank God I ain’t where I used to be!

I may have been a little behind with participating in the “One Day Without Shoes”, but I have most certainly have a growing affinity toward those who go without shoes everyday, poverty stricken, homeless, and/or the less fortunate. Going one day without shoes put a lot in perspective for me today; realizing I don’t thank God for shoes to protect my feet from things that are on the ground. Even though I didn’t wear shoes today, I’m able to put some on tomorrow where there’s someone out there who doesn’t have a closet to go and CHOOSE which pair to put on. I also experienced alienation, ridicule, and strange looks throughout this day. I’ve always been the “cool person”. Never an outcast. I never had a problem with “fitting in”. That day was very different. Nobody asked if I was okay. If… everything was fine. If there was anything they could do for me. When people saw me walking toward them in my shirt/tie/slacks/shiny belt/ and messenger bag… but no shoes; they walked to the other side of the street. It didn’t help that day was 4/20, which is a recognized day for smoking weed. So people thought I was high! That did make me laugh a bit though.

All that to say, I get it now. Thank You God for giving me that day to experience what someone encounters daily even what you experience with being mocked, ridiculed, and the like. This will live and echo in my heart for a lifetime.

God is for the poor.

Are You Really A Teamplayer???

2011-03-29T16:00:00.000-07:00

From 8am-4: 30pm, I work with people who are trying to get back into the workplace. One of the interview questions I constantly prepare clients for is, “Tell Me About Yourself.” This is one of the easiest and at the same time hardest questions ever. It’s easy because it’s asking about you! And who knows you better than you? At least that should be the case. It’s a hard question because not too many people know what to say, how much say, or even what to include. Those who know how to answer the question partially will simply give a laundry list of character/professional traits they believe they possess. I’ve been working with my clients on not giving the stock answers. I.e. “I’m dependable, reliable, and a team player.” Don’t get me wrong. These are admirable traits, but they mean nothing if the clients a) really don’t know what it really means or b) they just use it to sound good.

One of the most popular traits clients tend to use is Team Player. My pondering leads me to, “Do people really understand what it means to be a Team Player? Do people even have a clue of what makes a team an actual team?” How a team is developed happens in 4 Crucial Stages; Forming, Storming, Norming, and Performing. It doesn’t matter where you go, who is on the team, sports or not, or in the church world or in the corporate world; you’ll find teams in these stages.

1. Forming: This is when teams are really in their infancy stage. The team is assembled. People are getting to know each other. Team members in this stage are also deciding who does what? Roles are established. Tasks, goals, and/or objectives are given as well. Also known as the “honeymoon” phase. How sweet.

Leaders, share with your team what a “W”(wins or successes) looks like. Also, be intentional about this phase because this is where relationships are birthed.

2. Storming: Alright, honeymoon is over! This is when egos begin to emerge. Disagreements occur. Members may even begin to question their leader and go against what the leader has set out to get accomplished. Teams within the team, in other words dissension, often are formed here. Storms are never pretty.

Leaders, do not ignore conflict. Set expectations as to how you all will deal with conflict. I love what Andy Stanley said about problems. He said, “it’s important to understand whether this is a problem to solve or a problem to manage.” Besides, just about every GREAT thing formed stemmed from some type of conflict. Embrace it.

3. Norming: THE STORM IS OVER! The ONLY way your team is able to make it out of the storm is when there is focus placed on CONFLICT RESOLUTION. Conflict is INEVITABLE. Conflict Resolution is INVALUABLE. The team in the norming phase is beginning to cook with grease. They have harmony, synergy, and cohesiveness. They are all clear on what each other’s role is and are becoming productive.

Leaders, every stage listed here is a stage to be embraced, but this one particularly is important because here is where your team gets RHYTHM. You all are in the zone. Rejoice in it! Have fun!

4. Performing: If I had to sum up this stage in one word, it would probably be EXECUTION. At this point, the team has been solving problems in order to eliminate any barriers hindering them from achieving the tasks set out before them. They now play off each other’s strengths and allow each other to run their lanes.

Leaders, this is a good place to be in. At this point, your team can now to be given room to be creative and operate within themselves.

3 interesting things about these stages are 1) Getting from Forming to Performing can look extremely sloppy and, in some cases, take very long. 2) Some teams don’t make it out of the storming phase. And 3) Just because your team experiences Performing, anything can take you all the way back to the Forming stage (new members of the team/organizational changes, new tasks, etc.).

This blogpost should assist you in a couple ways; possibly giving you deeper insight to how a Team is developed, giving you some type of idea where your team or staff are currently, and as a leader, how to respond to these stages with your team. All this also to say, the term “Team Player” should be taken a lot more serious than just some stock response to “Tell me about yourself.” Feedback appreciated much.

How Full Is Your Tank?

2011-03-16T09:46:00.000-07:00

My first car ever was a 1992 White Toyota Corolla. I got it my senior year in high school. I put about 230k-245k miles on her before she died. **sniffle sniffle...drops tear** Her name was Coco-Loco because I drove that thing everywhere you could imagine. One hilarious memory I have was when I was working for Comcast in Silver Spring and I was living in Upper Marlboro at the time. Pretty lengthy commute. My gas was pretty low, but I didn't notice it until I was already on the beltway. So I kept saying to myself, "At the next exit, I'll get off and get gas." Before you know it, I was out of gas! I had to call my brother Brandon to bring me some gas! LOL, Remember that B?!?!?! It didn't matter how hard I stepped on the gas, it wouldn't go. It didn't matter how I talked to Coco-Loco, it would go. It just didn't matter because she was out of gas.

A good friend of mine asked me to do a blogpost on "Me Time". This was about a couple weeks ago. I absolutely have no problem writing this because I believe I'm pretty good at this. I care about myself and I NEED some "Me Time". If I had to define Me Time, I'd probably define it as...

engaging oneself in something strictly for pleasure and enjoyment

My "Me Time" consists of different things; journaling, praying, working out, watching basketball or a movie, or even napping. Below I'll list 2 main reasons why EVERYONE needs "Me Time".

Refuel- Having "Me Time" helps you refuel or re-energize yourself. The same principle as a vehicle. A car only runs out of gas when it travels for a certain distance burning up all the existing gas. We are the same way. When our bodies experience work, sports, ministry, running a business, school, etc. there comes a time when our gas runs out. We must engage in "Me Time" to fill ourselves back up.

Refocus- Often times, after I fill up my gas tank, I'll reset my odometer. I do this because I'm starting a new slate. A new set of trips. And sometimes to see how long this tank of gas lasts with these upcoming trips. After we have "Me Time", it allows us to Refocus so we can see where we need to channel our energy, time, and efforts.

Ask yourself these questions: What good am I to anyone else if I haven't taken time out for myself? What good am I to my job? What good am I to my wife/husband? What good am I to my kids? What good am I to my friends if I don't take time out to focus on myself? What good am I if my tank is on E?!?!?! It didn't matter how hard I stepped on the gas. When the gas was gone, it was gone. When the cup is empty, it's empty. When it's all gone, it's all gone.

We cannot pour into anybody in our life who needs us when we have nothing left in our cup to pour.

I'm curious. How do you get in "Me Time"?

Marriage: 4 Nuggets From Year 1

2011-02-25T08:18:00.000-08:00

The Importance of Leave and Cleave

When a man and a woman marry one another, the directive, in so many words, from the Bible is to “Leave and Cleave” to one another. I love this directive because it sets a foundation that is INVALUABLE as it pertains to the health of a marriage. This directive is spoken exclusively to the two leaving their parents and cleaving to one another. In the exchanging of vows, the only two people up on the pulpit, front of the church, or wherever you and your spouse were. Her mom and dad weren’t up there. Your homeboy from college wasn’t up there either. It kills me when married couples bring ANY and EVERYBODY into their marriage. Find an accountability couple(s)/ a mentor couple(s) whom you can bounce things off of when you just don’t know. 2 important things to remember though. 1) They couple must be AGREED upon and 2) These people shouldn’t take the place of going to God FIRST and talking to your spouse SECOND.

Conflict Resolution/Check –In

I got this from the wife of one of our mentor couples. Speaking to her about staying connected to my wife, she gave me this nugget. It’s so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, work, school, social life, ministry, personal time, etc. A couple can go days and sometimes weeks without checking in. Ever so often (weekly), I’ll “check-in” with V. All that means is asking questions like, “How are we doing? Is there anything you need to tell me/we need to talk about? How are you feeling?” “Did I do anything to offend you?” This keeps both parties up to speed regarding what’s happening in their marriage. It’s INTENTIONAL CONNECT TIME. As opposed to having the T.V. on during dinner, turn the T.V. off and have INTENTIONAL CONNECT TIME with your spouse by having this conversation over dinner. Husbands, have Intimacy (her version of intimacy is IN-TO-ME-SEE) with your wife during this time. Give her your undivided attention during dinner. Trust me and Thank Me Later.

Husband’s Mandate/Check The Thermostat

As the husband, I’ve been called to lead. My Pastor challenged me in my pre-marital counseling to “Lead Her Lovingly” and in such a way that would MAKE her WANT to SUBMIT and FOLLOW me. I love that because it really puts the ownership and responsibility back on me; the husband. I hear a lot of husbands say what their wife doesn’t do, but never acknowledge the fact that they’re out of line themselves! Here’s the million-dollar question: IF YOU WERE A WIFE, WOULD YOU FOLLOW AND SUBMIT TO YOU? As a husband, I have to lead well and always make sure the “temperature” in my house is comfortable. It’s not too hot (anger, bitterness, rage, strife) or too cold (no connection, no emotion, on roommate status). I have to make sure it’s just right; intentional connect time, prayer, “Check Ins”, getting in the Word together, date-nights, etc.

Team McGee

“Different strokes for different folks.” “Whatever floats your boat.” “I’ma do me.” All those clichés pretty much mean “Do what works for you.” In this first year, everybody gave us advice on how to do a lot of things in marriage, finances/budgeting, conflict resolution, tithing, and some more stuff. At the end of it all, the advice maybe good but we have to find out what works for TEAM MCGEE. Find our identity as a couple. For example, “It’s great what the Smiths do and all, but that doesn’t work for us.” We ask each other questions like, What do we want our marriage look like to others? Where do we want to be in the next 5 years? How do we plan on disciplining our children? Home school vs. Traditional School? Because we’ve just completed year 1, we’re still conversing about these things and some of these conversations are in the infancy stages because some we have to wait to get there first, but these are the intentional steps being taken in order to form our identity as Team McGEE.

There were so many people who said, “Your first year of marriage is going to be the hardest. You just wait and see.” Well, I DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOURS, BUT MY FIRST YEAR OF MARRIAGE WAS EXCELLENT! There are always going to be issues, but how you respond to them is what makes all the difference. I love the intentional preparation Veronica and I did individually and as a couple prior to getting to the altar. This helped a lot with our first year as a lot of stuff that came up called for application of the things we learned before from God’s Word, mentors, mentor couples, sermons, etc. I’m SO looking forward to year 2.

LETS GO!!!!! TEAM McGEE!!!

Concert or Worship?

2011-02-09T14:01:00.001-08:00

The picture captures one of two moments; 1-The crowd is waiting for the band to come out and begin playing or 2-The band has left and the crowd awaits an encore.

Last week, my boy Aaron and I were at work chatting. I don't even know how we got on the subject, but we started talking about worship. We met at this conclusion. Many Christians get worship and concert confused. A CONCERT makes you feel good IN THE MOMENT whereas WORSHIP LASTS AFTER THE MUSIC STOPS, WHEN THE BAND HAS LEFT THE STAGE, and WHEN THERE ARE NO MORE INSTRUMENTS ON STAGE.

Worship is a LIFESTYLE more than it is chords, melody, and musical arrangements. Don't get me wrong; these things play a big part in worship. However, if we place too much emphasis on those things, we lose sight of what worship is all about and who we're worshipping.

I was watching the Celebration of Gospel on B.E.T. a couple weeks ago and I couldn't help but to tweet something. It said, "Dear gospel artists, make sure your music points everyone NOT to you. But to Me and The Cross. ~Love God" We can focus so much on runs, riffs, how well they play the keys or the base, or how he/she directs the choir that we lose sight of the PURPOSE of gospel music.

My buddy Aaron reminded me of the Gospel Artist, Matt Redman, making a song speaking directly to this issue. It's called The Heart of Worship. The chorus says "I'm coming back to the heart of worship. It's all about You. It's all about You Jesus. I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it. It's all about You. It's all about You Jesus." This is a song of repentance for making worship smaller than what it should be and making it about someone of other than God.

The sad part is; in many churches after service, if the doors didn't have to close... people would still be sitting in the pews waiting to be led into worship or should I say; the concert to continue.

Worship or Concert?

Making Room For Oneness

2011-01-30T12:01:00.000-08:00

I'm a huge fan of candy canes, but it's only around Christmas time. It's a seasonal candy. As a matter of fact, I'm an even bigger fan of Jolly Rancher Jelly Beans. These are seasonal as well because they're only sold around Easter. Anyway, candy canes are uniquely designed. Primarily, candy canes are red and white. You have the other colored/flavors, but I want to talk about these because they're only two colors. The significance of these two colors is one does not overpower one another. The two colors are evenly wrapped around the candy cane into one. The red does not dominate the white and the white does not dominate the red. Nor is one more significant than the other.

What a reflection of how marriage should be! You have two individuals merging lives together becoming one. In marriage, the symbolism of a candy cane should manifest itself. My likes do not overpower hers. Her hobbies should not dominate how we spend time; but when the two YIELD, SACRIFICE, and MERGE; ONENESS is created.

Over the weekend, my wife and I hosted couple's function in our home. There were 4 couples there. It was PHENOMENAL! The meal of the night was Fix-It-Yourself Tacos/Taco Salads. Baked cookies and ice cream was for dessert. I led the husbands breakout sessions on "Making Room For Her Weakness" and my wife led the wives on "Positioning themselves In Order To Keep Things In Perspective". The husbands surprised the wives with roses and the wives took the time out to write love filled letters to their husbands. We then cracked open some sparkling cider, toasted to many blessings, and what God is doing through us and in our marriages.

My wife has always asked, "Where or what do you think God is going to have us doing together?" She got a glimpse of that yesterday and it did her heart glad; mine too. We, two individuals (red and white) came together for one common goal, one purpose.

We capped the night off w/ the Michael Jackson "The Experience" and Just Dance 2 on the Wii. I'm nice on Smooth Criminal! LOL

Hoarders

2011-01-27T05:55:00.000-08:00

Hello reader! Happy New Year! Let me first apologize for stepping away from my blog for so long. I was getting so caught up in trying to "exhaust" posts from start to finish, which would call for extensive thinking and take longer than necessary to put out posts. In 2011, my approach is going to be different and there will be more posts. So, here we go!

In the above picture, you see a lot of STUFF. I'm pretty sure everyone is familiar with the term "hoard, hoarder, or hoarding". If not, there's a show dedicated to this concept and the people who do it. To hoard means "a supply of accumulation that is hidden or carefully guarded." The person who does this is called a hoarder. The show, "Hoarders", highlights people who have a hoarder lifestyle. Their houses are filled with stuff; so much so; you can't even get more than 2 people in there at a time because there is only room for one person to maneuver through all the stuff. And more times than enough, it's the accumulation of unnecessary things.

Are you a hoarder? Do you have an accumulation of stuff that you truly guard? Here's the twist though. We may not hoard inanimate objects in our households, but we may hoard things INWARDLY. We may hoard things of our past, hoard feelings, hoard bitterness, hoard emotions, or hoard resentment toward someone. The worst thing about hoarding is that it limits you from PROGRESSION. Just as the hoarder can't move around but so much in their house; being an inward hoarder limits us from moving forward in life. The inability to be moved emotionally, the inability to love, the inability to GROW, and the inability to experience what God has for us because we cannot release the junk we've accumulated and guard so dearly. LET IT GO.

My aunt said something so funny to me one day. I told her she was a hoarder and she responds, "No I'm not. I keep this stuff real good." Hmmm?

Are you a hoarder?

Your Joy (Inspired By Chrisette Michele)

2010-09-22T14:16:00.000-07:00

My greatest ideas come either in the shower or while driving. They just do! I don’t know why, but I find myself often coming up with or processing things at those times. For the last month or so, I’ve been DREAMING hard lately. V and I sat down, not too long ago, and just talked about where we we’d like to be (spiritually, financially, living arrangements, family, educationally, etc.). It was fun! Ever since then, that conversation continued to float around in my mind every other day or so.

I then decided to take what we talked about and put it on paper. So, for the past couple days or so, I’ve been writing/tweeking “The McGee Move”. These are just our plans on paper that we 1) ARE IN AGREEMENT WITH/ ON ONE ACCORD and 2) HAVE ASKED GOD TO HONOR THEM. Asking God to honor our vision is perfectly fine. The tricky part comes in if things don’t pan out as we’d like them to. Then, what is our response to God? The trick to this is, We have to be okay with whatever He sees fit to happen, even if things are completely opposite of what we put on paper. That’s another blogpost.

After doing the writing, I found myself staring at the document and just DREAMING about those days coming to pass when the things on here would be accomplished. On “The McGee Move”; children were in the picture. As I got down to the children part, I dreamt for quite a bit. But on Tuesday during my commute to work, my iPod began to play Chrisette Michelle’s Your Joy. For those who do not listen to her; she is an excellent artist. Her track, Your Joy, is about the relationship between a daughter and her Father. She melodically expresses her love for her Father in the most simplistic joys like taking walks with him, lying on his chest while trying to match her heart beat with his, and so on. I began to DREAM about the day V and I have a little girl. I began to DREAM about taking walks with her, taking her on Daddy-Daughter dates, courting her so she know what it's supposed to be like when that time really comes.

Lord knows I want a boy so bad! However, I would be just as excited if He gave V and I a girl. I know how I am with my 3 goddaughters so I can only imagine how I'll be with my own! So, a special shout out to my Fathers who have daughters. A Father-Daughter's love is very special. Make sure you set the example of what a man should be.

Your Joy

Walked down the sidewalk

Staring at your feet

Wishing my steps were longer

So by your sides I could keep

Hold your hand much bigger

Never wanted mine to grow

So I could always feel perfect

Inside your palms just so

No one loves me just like you do

No one knows me just like you do

No one can compare to way my eyes fit in yours

You'll always be my father

And I'll always be your joy

Laid me on your belly

Nights when mama wasn't home

Lightning made me shiver

And you never let me feel alone

I tried to match your breathing

Beating my little heart against yours

Perfect were the nights we were sleeping

I never want to end what we are

'Cause No one loves me just like you do

And no one knows me just like you do

No one can compare to the way my eyes fit in yours

You'll always be my father

And I'll always be your joy

One day he'll come on bended knee

And ask my love away from thee

And when I give my love to him

You'll always have a place within

One day he'll come on bended knee

And ask my love away from thee

And when I give my love to him

You'll always have a place within

No one loves me just like you do

No one knows me just like you do

No one can compare to the way my eyes fit in yours

You'll always be my father

And I'll always be your joy.

My Mans and Em

2010-09-15T14:21:00.000-07:00

Remember DMX? He coined the phrase, "THAT'S MY MANS AND EM!" Along with the bark and his random prayers on his albums, this was something pretty popular my friends and I used to say quite often. You generally said that about people you were cool with. Back then, if someone wanted a hook up, that would be the reason why you hooked them up...because "That's My Mans And Em!"

Well, I'd like to shout out MY MANS AND EM. MY MANS AND EM are the guys who are in my corner, no matter what. MY MANS AND EM are there when I need them; be it to vent, get advice, to bounce an idea off of, or even to be corrected. They're there.

MY MANS AND EM hold me accountable to a high standard.

MY MANS AND EM correct me when I'm wrong and praise me for a good job.

MY MANS AND EM are honest with me at all times.

MY MANS AND EM challenge me to become a better man daily.

MY MANS AND EM always expect more from me so they never let me settle.

MY MANS AND EM make sure I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing as a husband.

MY MANS AND EM ask me tough questions regarding my purity.

MY MANS AND EM support me.

I recently had a conversation with my sisters about how many males feel as though they need to "fall back" when their boy gets married. I told her that's the BIGGEST UNTRUTH EVER! Yes, it is expected for male bonding time to be adjusted because it is my God given responsibility to take care of home first. However, if I needed your support before the marriage; I'm going to need it during! I'm not going to say I'll need it after because DIVORCE IS NOT AN OPTION! Not only will I need it, but I want it! Too many folks use being married as an excuse not to "bother" (call, come visit, hangout, etc) you. FOOLISHNESS! LOL

Within the last two days, I've had the most inspiring, uplifting, and just plain fun times with two of MY MANS AND EM!

LOVE YALL! WHY?

BECAUSE THAT'S MY MANSSSSSSS AND EM!

Calmness During The Storm

2010-09-13T20:05:00.000-07:00

I'm SO glad the position in the picture above isn't apart of Yoga X. But, ASHTANGAS! DOWNWARD DOG! CHAIR! TREE! Those are just a couple of the positions you are to do during the Yoga X video of the intense workout series P90X. I've been doing the series and one of the major workouts, believe it or not, (at least for me) is Yoga X. Beastly! Yoga X is crazy because it makes you stretch those muscles you don't normally stretch. Not only is it beastly, but it's the longest DVD of them all!

I can't remember the name of the exact position, but its the one where you stand on one foot and stretch the opposite leg out in front of you. The goal is to hold the tip of your toe on the outstretched leg! CRAZY! On one hand, I'm doing Yoga X and watching the P90X'ers on the tv and I'm jealous (unashamedly admitting). On the other hand, I'm looking at the television screen and wondering, "Is this for real?!?!?!?!" How is it this person is stretching like this....WITH EASE! The phrase that sticks out in my mind repeated by Tony Horton is, "Look at the Calm During The Storm." So I stopped (while I was supposed to be doing the exercise) and notice just how RELAXED and AT PEACE these people were while doing what I believed to be an extremely difficult exercise. On the outside, at least, they were doing the exercise EFFORTLESSLY. On the inside though, they were probably struggling to hold it (if so, it definitely didn't look like it). Another example of this concept is the duck. While we see ducks in their element, on the water, they're just gliding across the water. However, we do not see what their paddling efforts look like with their feet! They're just gliding graciously across the surface of the water, but underneath... they little feet are going 140 kicks a second!

All that to say, I tried the exercise and it was clear that I was struggling. Not only could I not stand up, but I was sweating and trembling like CRAZY! I didn't do a good job of displaying "Calmness During The Storm."

Question: What is your posture during the storms of life?

Do you panic? Do you shut down? Do you pray? Do you eat? Do you seek wise counsel? Do you tell everybody our situation? Do you journal? Do you spaz out on everyone? What do you do? There should be a sense of Calmness During The Storm. There is scripture that reference this and what our posture should resemble as well as our protection, which should give us the Calm During The Storm.

Psalm 107:29 He caused the storm to be still, So that the waves of the sea were hushed.

Isaiah 25:4 For You have been a defense for the helpless, A defense for the needy in his distress, A refuge from the storm, a shad from the heat; For the breath of the ruthless is like a rain storm against a wall.

What's your response during the storm?

Spiritual Principles Taken Away From P90X.

Patience

2010-08-17T15:54:00.003-07:00

I was asked to write a blog on Patience a couple weeks ago, but I had so many other topics on my brain at the time. I had to put it off for a second. Well, wait no longer... here it is.

Has someone ever had you on hold for a long time? Have you ever visited a doctor's office and you weren't seen right away? Do you have children (nuff said)? Are you a teacher of some sort?

In all of these instances, patience must be exercised. My wife and I often have our god daughters over our house. Not only do we have to exercise patience with them because we don't have kids of our own, but we work together to instill the value of patience in them. All of them are toddlers so when they don't get something they want, when they want it; they begin to whimper, pant, and/or cry even. And what do we do? We let them cry. This teaches them that you cannot have what you want, when and how you want it. Everybody can't drop what they're doing to be at your every beck and call.

Question: How many of us (adults) whimper, pant, and/or cry even when we don't get our way when we want it, the way we want it, and who we want it from?

I absolutely the picture above of the mouse pad that says, "Lord, give me patience...AND GIVE IT TO ME NOW." What an oxymoron?! LOL, but we'll pray that very same prayer VERBATIM.

Farmers give you a great example of patience. They plant SEASONS in advance and have to wait for the harvest. Can you imagine cooking your food, but having to wait to eat it the following season?

What areas do you struggle with being patient?

Patience is simply holding off on rushing a second longer.

Burdens

2010-08-17T15:53:00.001-07:00

How many people feel how this guy looks? As a matter of fact, how many people can say, "This guy looks just like me!" Well, if you can pretty much agree to those statements, you'll love this post. I'm talking about Burdens here. There are a couple of definitions according to dictionary.com for the word Burden. One is, "that which is borne with difficulty; obligation." Another reads "onus" while another says "something that's carried."

What are your burdens today? In other words... WHAT IS THAT DIFFICULT OBLIGATION YOU CARRY AND HAVE TAKEN ONUS OF? My second question is; How are you carrying it?

I've called alot of things burdens. Having to give someone a ride when I didn't want to: Burden. Somebody asking for money and I really don't want to give it to them: Burden. Having to hang out with someone I really don't want to: Burden. Pretty much doing anything I didn't want to do at the time because it inconvenienced me was a BURDEN!

Well, after sometime, I've gotten the message that IT'S NOT ABOUT ME. So, the way I look at Burdens now is completely different.

Complaining about having to buy gas to give that person a ride?

Response: Thank You Lord for the "burdens" of having a car to put gas in!

Complaining about always having to clean up around your house?

Response: Thank You Lord for the "burden" of having a house to clean up!

Complaining about a wife staying at home w/o a job while you go to work everyday?

Response: Thank You Lord for the "burden" of having to go TO A JOB (while many don't have one) in order to support the wife and children You've given me!

I think you get the point by now. The main takeaway is this; there are some Burdens you should welcome! Instead of complaining about some Burdens, God is working on me to EMBRACE them and ask Him, "How do You want me to RESPOND?" The GREAT thing about the Lord is; if our Burdens are to big for us, well... check out these verses.

PSALM 55:22 - THROW YOUR BURDEN upon the Lord and He will sustain you. He will NEVER allow the godly to be upended.

MATTHEW 11:30 - For My yoke is EASY and My BURDEN is light.

Thank God for Burdens!

Contentment

2010-07-28T09:41:00.000-07:00

Hey Folks! Thanks for stopping through and checking out "A Closer Look". This entry is a guest suggested topic given to me last week. Someone asked me to write about contentment.

The picture above reads, "Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of what you already have." What strong statement to accurately define contentment. Not even focusing on what you don't have or what you want BUT a REALIZATION of what you already have! WOW! If you're an avid shopper like me, you find yourself in a pretty interesting position. Well, actually, I've gotten alot better! I'll pick up something with the intention of buying it, then I'll think about what I have at home already. I end up putting it back because of my CONTENTMENT for what I have at home ALREADY.

One of the most infamous passages used as "My Favorite Scripture" is Philippians 4:13. The sad part is MANY people use it out of it's original and intended context. Paul saying "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." isn't some phsycological-pump me up statement that will give me the courage to jump off a 50 ft building believing I can do it because Christ strengthens me. ABSOLUTELY NOT! LOL, People often take that piece of scripture and leave the rest alone. In verses prior to that one, Paul talks about how he has been with and how he has been without because the people of Philippi want to offer him gifts as a missionary. His response is one of humility in saying, (Philippians 4: 10-13) "I am very happy in the Lord that you have shown your care for me again. You continued to care about me, but there was no way for you to show it. I am not telling you this because I need anything. I have learned to be satisfied with the things I have and with everything that happens. I know how to live when I am poor, and i know how to live when I have plenty. I have learned the secret of being happy at any time in everything that happens, when I have enough to eat and when I go hungry, when I have more than I need and when I do not have enough. I can do all things through Christ, because He gives me strength." Other versions even use the term CONTENT several times in that passage of scripture. He's talking about contentment.

One last example that just came to my mind is from the movie "Pursuit of Happyness" with Will Smith and his son Jaden. I LOVE THAT MOVIE! A perfect example of contentment is given in this movie and it's not by Will Smith or any of the adult characters; it comes from Jaden. There was a time when they were in the shelter and Will Smith asked Jaden if he wanted to share a bed with his dad for the rest of his life. Contentment is shown in Jaden's response. He says, (paraphrasing) "Dad, I don't mind...You're a good poppa." He wasn't worried about what he didn't have, but realized that if he had his dad and a bed to sleep in; he would be okay.

Hope this helps. Contentment.

Drawing With Payton

2010-07-25T19:16:00.001-07:00

Today, I was able to spend the afternoon with my goddaughter Payton. She's my mentor's youngest daughter. I was humbled when he asked me because nobody has ever asked me to be a godfather before. I love this little girl to pieces! She tries to break me down with her big ol sweet eyes but I'm getting stronger (signs of how I'll be when I become a dad...especially if it's a girl).
Anyway, we got the opportunity to draw together on a dry erase board with washable markers. I grabbed a dry paper towel and another one that was damp; one to wipe and the other to dry. Well, Payton would mark up the board with one color, pick another color, mark the board up, and over and over and over for at least 45 minutes. I was trying to keep up and ever so often give her a clean board to draw on. I did that by using the damp cloth to erase the color and the dry one to wipe up the water.
Besides the fact that she was calling out the colors; BURPLE, LELLOW, BOWN! (so cute!) I was being ministered to! The whole pattern of her scribbling on the board, me erasing and then drying it to make it clean reminded me of how Christ cleanses us! We're the dry erase board, the colors represent sin, and the cloths represent God's LOVE, GRACE, CLEANSING, AND FORGIVENESS!
Whenever she put the color (SIN) on the dry erase board (US), I used the cloth (GOD) to cleanse the board and it was white again (FORGIVENESS and CLEANSING). No matter how much color and how many times she scribbled on the board; it was able to come clean with a swipe!
This is for the reader who is struggling with God forgiving them for WHATEVER they've done or are doing! His love for us is IMMEASURABLE AND EVERLASTING!
~1 year old Art Lesson

86, 400?

2010-07-14T15:21:00.000-07:00

Let me ask you a question. If 86, 400 was deposited into your account everyday, what would you do with it? I'll give you sometime to think about it before you respond. ......

What'd you come up with? Did you say you'd go back to school? Did you say you'd pay off all your debt or school loans? Did you say you'd start some type of savings account? Did you say you'd buy a new house, car, some land, buy your parents a house? Did you say you'd open your own business? Well, if you said anything close to that; you're wrong. Yes, YOU ARE WRONG! LOL, The reason why you're wrong is because who said anything about money????? Yea, go ahead and look back up at the top of this blog entry and re-read the question. It's okay. Go ahead.... It definitely doesn't say anything about money. What I'm talking about is TIME. The 86, 400 represents how many seconds we all have in one day. A deposit of 86, 400 seconds is deposited into your time bank/account E-V-E-R-Y-D-A-Y. We all get the same amount too. What are you doing with it?

This was a suggested topic proposed by a good friend of mine. The question was "How are we spending our LIFE MINUTES? Are we wasting them, treasuring them, or using them wisely? I love the way concept of time is replaced with the term "Life Minutes". I always joke around whenever I may feel like I've wasted my time; I'll say, "That's (insert amount of time wasted) of my life I cannot get back!" There is some validity to my statement though.

What are you doing with your life minutes?

Apples Are My Favorite!

2010-07-07T15:01:00.000-07:00

Next to green grapes, apples are my favorite. Not just any apples though. They have to be Fuji Apples! Fuji Apples are dabomb.com; especially when they're refrigerated.

I was speaking to a group the other day regarding Mentor/Mentee relationships. I believe this to be the most undervalued relationship there is. There is alot of focus on a "I'm going to do it myself" attitude and no search for someone who's already been where you're trying to go. I didn't understand the value of this relationship until in undergrad. The relationship developed over time even after graduation and still continues to thrive. I try to surround myself with people who are going to POUR INTO ME and PULL THE BEST OUT OF ME. The truth is, regardless of the age or stage, we all need a friendly skeptic, a loving critic, a coach, or a mentor who can help us make sense of the world.

Alot of us need mentors, but it takes a little courage to ask someone to serve as your mentor. The next question is, "How do I go about getting a mentor?" 3 Simple Steps...

Identify The Need- What am I in need of? What do I need help/guidance with? What do I lack experience with? What do I need to learn more about?

Identify The Candidates- Identify the person or people. Study them. Get to know them. Ask them questions.

Have the conversation- "I notice you're good at _____ and I was wondering if you would mind mentoring me in that area?"

For a season in my life, I felt as if I was in a desert because I was searching for THAT SUPER MENTOR. This is that man who has it all together! Great husband, father, professional, leader, steward, and the list goes on and on. Foolish of me! For those of you who are doing the same thing; male or female... Don't mean to burst your bubble, but THAT PERSON DOES NOT EXIST! LOL! They don't and it took me sometime to realize. "A smart person turns anyone who can help them into a mentor." In other words, find that person who does what you are looking for well.

In the beginning, I spoke about Fuji Apples and I asked you, "How many apples did you see?" A lot of you may have said just one. Others may have said more than one; somewhere along the lines of maybe 4 or 5. Those persons are correct. If you saw 4-5 apples, you are correct. Reason being is because within the one apple are about 4 seeds. If you remove those seeds, plant them, nurture them, and take care of them; you'll grow 4 more apples. Similar to the mentor/mentee relationship. If you are mentoring 4 persons in your matron (sphere of influence) by passing on wisdom, experience, and life lessons; you are sure to raise up quality people like you or who exceed you.

Who's mentoring you or Who are you mentoring?

"We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we GIVE." ~Winston Churchill

"Mentor: Someone who's HINDSIGHT can become your FORESIGHT."

PRIDE

2010-06-30T15:29:00.000-07:00

PRIDE

I tried something different this time with this post. I reached out to my twitter fam and asked if there was any specific topic they wanted me to blog about. The first response I got was; PRIDE. When I read that tweet, I instantly thought, "man, this should be interesting because I really don't struggle with pride and it's very rare that I talk about it. But, it was asked of me so...here goes nothing."

A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you're looking down, you can't see something that's above you.

C.S. Lewis

No one ever choked to death swallowing their own pride.

Unknown

Pride comes before the fall.

Proverbs

Pride will have a fall. For pride goeth before and shame cometh after.

Proverbs

These are just a couple of quotes along with some proverbs that describe pride. However, all of them have a negative connotation. Pride coming from a positive perspective can say, "I am serious about what I do. My work is a reflection of my passion. Mediocrity is not an option." So, is it good to have pride. Absolutely! It's always good to have something, but not too much of it! Too much pride is the equivalent to arrogance or conceit. There have been times where I've been called arrogant, cocky, and prideful. I must admit, it did make make take a deep look at self in order to attempt to understand this labeling. So I did things like asked the opinions of those whom I valued, who i knew would keep it 100 with me. At the end of the day, there is a possibility that it's not you!

Your insecurities + My Confidence = My "Arrogance"

If there's someone who is battling with with themselves regarding their personality, image, abilities and the like; it's easy to pass those insecurities of oneself as another person's arrogance. So, if you are the one with the bubbly personality and you are influential, FILL THAT PERSON'S BUCKET! POUR INTO THEM! PULL THE BEST OUT OF THEM!

But I'm no psychiatrist, I'm just sharing my view on pride. What's yours?

Marriage Chronicles pt. III

2010-06-23T14:14:00.000-07:00

What's good family? I really appreciate all of you who have stopped by and gave the blog some love. Keep coming through and definitely leave some comments. I'm very much open to responses and would appreciate them.

Sorry for my delay in pt. III of Marriage Chronicles. For those who are visiting for the first time, I've decided to blog about my experience leading up to marriage and experiences/lessons learned while in marriage. Since I can't have a camera follow me around for a reality show on vh1, I'll have to settle for blogging. HA! Anyway, on pt. II, I left off with me apologizing to Veronica after years and years of running in and out of her life. The one most important thing I left out was what else I told her. I was real bold with this one. I told her, "I'M NOT GETTING BACK WITH YOU UNLESS I'M GOING TO MARRY YOU." WHOA! That's serious! That's one of those NBA Playoff GUARANTEED WIN statements. Our courtship begins. This is where it gets pretty interesting because at this stage, everything counts. Every little thing was a "sign" or an "indicator" to what should be expected in the future for the both of us as a spouse. This is the time where ALL the critical questions were asked like, "What makes you believe you're ready to be a husband/wife? Why do you want to be my husband/my wife? Where do you want to live? How many kids do you want and what names are you considering?" MAN, THIS WAS ALOT NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT! LOL

The best part, I would say, about our courtship is 1) how we spent our time and 2) how it grew my FAITH. Veronica and I tried with all of our hearts to spend most of our time strategically; not just scheduling things but when and where they are taking place. The reason why we were so BIG on this was because it's so easy to get BOUNDARIES confused during this time. We didn't want to be that couple playing "house". You know what I'm talking about too; playing marriage like spending entire days with one another and staying over each other's house overnight; need I say more? NOT THE BUSINESS! It's so easy for couples to reach that point of saying, "Okay, we both know we want to marry each other so why not..." "Why shouldn't I be allowed to stay over your house? Why shouldn't I be able to touch on you the way I wish? I mean, you are about to be my husband or wife." Mind you, we haven't even gotten engaged yet (then those thoughts/ideas/feelings only grow). So, the majority of the time we spent together either was out and about (not in one of our houses and if we were, it was during the day/early evening and we were cooking most of the time. LOL, where i learned how to make lasagna), over someone else's house visiting (especially one of our mentor couples or spending time with our goddaughters), or out with mutual friends or family. We grew alot from that. The 2nd best part is how it grew my faith. AND IT DEFINITELY DID JUST THAT! About a year into our courtship, I knew I wanted to go ahead and take that leap of faith, but I found myself stuck at the edge squatting and swinging my arms back and forth. LOL, I had somethings lingering in the back of my mind. You know? The usual things like, "Where are we going to live? I don't have enough money. What if I fail as a husband?" Two people really challenged me with 2 simple questions. One was my mentor and we were talking about finances and his question was, "How much is enough?" The other question was from this gentleman I was discipling; "What makes you think God won't take care of you and V if He gave you the green light to marry her?" It stumped me because I couldn't answer either of them! Talk about feeling shutdown?!!?!?! I know that wasn't the purpose of either question, but both really put things in perspective. I had to ask God for forgiveness and for my arrogance of doubting Him and trying to do things on my own.

From that point on, things began to happen like I've never seen before. Things began to fall into place better than I could have ever planned!

Pt. IV coming soon and I promise I won't make you wait as long...

Why Doesn't The Church Look Like This?

2010-06-13T06:41:00.000-07:00

Saturday June 12, 2010 I hung out with my Best Man Brandon in Downtown Silver Spring. We broke bread at Eggspectation. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE EGGSPECTATION! However, the only thing I get from there is their Crabdip. IT IS D-E-L-I-C-I-O-U-S! OMG, I honestly don't believe there is any other crabdip out there touching it! I digress...

We conversed about alot of things that evening. Everything such as our walks with the Lord, careers, education, relationships with our fathers, and the list goes on. Great Convo! The evening didn't end until a little after 10pm and I was headed down Georgia Ave/7th Street and I couldn't help but to notice a mob of people outside a club. I couldn't remember what the name of the club was though. I do remember going there some years ago to party. The funny thing about clubs in D.C. is the locations really don't change. So, for a certain amount of years one spot would be called "Club A" and that'll close down. A couple years later, another club will open up in the same spot just under another name and new management. Nonetheless, I just remember going there.

As I stated earlier, I noticed the line of folks waiting to get in the club and it had to be atleast 2-3 blocks long. When I saw that, I instantly asked myself, "Why doesn't the church look like this on Sunday mornings?" meaning "Why aren't people lined up ready to go to the Lord's house?" mainly in the area of young adults. I also asked myself, "What do clubs/lounges offer that the church doesn't?" This is a place where any and everybody goes where you can be who you are, dance and have a great time, and think nothing of it. So I kept pondering and two things I was able to think of after wrestling with this for the last couple of hours were these:

Community & Acceptance- The theme song for the television show "Cheers" comes to my mind. I don't know if Gary Portnoy and Judy Heart Angelo knew they were on to something regarding the community & acceptance/relational aspect for the church. LOL, The entire song never made the show, but the main part we all know goes, "Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name. And they're always glad you came. You wanna be where you can see, our troubles are all the same You wanna be where everybody knows Your name. You wanna go where people know, people are all the same, You wanna go where everybody knows your name." Pretty moving lyrics when talking about COMMUNITY and ACCEPTANCE. I believe this to be a HUGE piece when it comes to young adults actively walking with Christ. They want to be in an environment just like Cheers. Everyone knows me, glad to see me, and where my troubles are looked at on an even level playing field not being judged. (1 Corinthians 9:19-23 John 13:34-35)

Now, all that to say, I'm not saying that ALL churches aren't doing this. What I'm saying is, hearing from some youth and young adults who are in the process of or already have walked away from the faith, these are two big reasons as to why. Regardless of one's past, present struggles, looks, or status; we ought to be a body that has no criteria for those who want to be apart. If that be the case, we are also commanded to love the person; hate the behavior. When that happens, we are living proof of John 13: 34-35. "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." This scripture is penetrating my heart because what if God had a criteria for me to become His child? And I know for a FACT, I have plenty of FLAWS! If He loves us unconditionally, we must love others as He loves us.

The Power of Embarrassment

2010-06-05T09:20:00.000-07:00

Roughly 3 months ago, I married the Rocking, Awesome Veronica D. McGee. We were so excited leading up to the actual ceremony. We did all the things engaged couples do prior to getting married; such as choosing the menu, the order of the ceremony, creating the registry, and choosing the tuxs and gowns for the party. I think the most fun part for me was creating the registry! I GET TO MAKE UP A LIST OF PRICEY THINGS TO RECEIVE FOR MY WEDDING AS GIFTS! WOOT WOOT! We registered ourselves at Macy's, Bed/Bath & Beyond, and Target. I also had fun zapping all the items I wanted with that little scan gun. But, come to find out, after it was all said and done; we probably received MAYBE..3 items off our registry! I was a little disturbed because that mess took time to zap all those items.

The gifts we mainly received were cash/check/gift cards, a couple of household items, and devotional books. The cash and things are great. The household items are marvelous, but the devotional books is what I really want to focus in on. We received at least 3 different devotional books for married couples. We've been reading "No Greater Love" a 90 day devotional for the past month and a half or so. IT HAS BEEN ONE OF THE MOST, IF NOT THE MOST AWESOME ASPECT OF OUR MARRIAGE THUS FAR!

The picture at the top is one of a gentleman who is obviously in hiding possibly because he's embarrassed. Often times when we are embarrassed, our 1st instinct is to run away from everyone and to be alone. We're scared of the way people are looking at us or we don't want people to see us in a very VULNERABLE STATE. I must say the devotions Veronica and I have been doing have often times left me in a very AWKWARD, VULNERABLE, EMBARRASSING state. These devotions pull out things that you just don't talk about normally in average conversations. They expose the imperfections of both of us through short passages along with scripture from God's Word.

The best and most beautiful part of doing these devotions is; they don't force me to run away and into a hiding place, but they DRAW ME CLOSER TO MY WIFE. And vice versa; she draws closer to me.

Taking it back to the Garden scene with Adam, Eve, and God. They hid from God because of they're nakedness; not just physically but spiritually as well. God calls us to have a relationship with Him where we can be NAKED before Him! Not in the sense of merely having no covering/clothing, but TRANSPARENT with how we feel! NO HIDING! (As if He doesn't already know anyway... LOL) I heard a preacher say the mission of a husband and a wife is to live out the Gospel toward each other EVERYDAY. What a loaded statement! Our relationship with God should mirror our marriage. If things aren't going well in your horizontal relationship (with hubby or wifey), then that's a good indicator that things aren't going to well in your vertical relationship (With God).

Thank You God for using Your Word and Devotion as a time of NAKEDNESS, VULNERABILITY, TRANSPARENCY, AND SOMETIMES EMBARASSMENT to draw my wife and I NEARER to each other while closer to You rather than running away from each other in hiding.

212 Degree Principle

2010-05-26T13:33:00.000-07:00

Raising the temperature of water by one extra degree means the difference between something that is simply very hot and something that generates enough force to power a machine - a beautiful, uncomplicated metaphor that ideally should feed our every endeavor.

At 211 degrees, water is hot. At 212 degrees, it boils. And with boiling water comes STEAM. And STEAM can power a locomotive.

Take a look at these facts/quotes/definitions:

The margin for victory between an Olympic Gold Medal and no medal at all is extremely small. (In the '04 games, the margin of victories were: 1.42 sec in men's 200 meter freestyle swimming, .59 sec in women's 200 meter freestyle swimming, .71 sec men's 800m running, .13 women's 800m, 28cm men's long jump, and 11cm in women's long jump.)

Courage is fear holding on a minute longer. ~George S. Patton

The average margin for victory for the past 10 years has been 1.54 seconds in Daytona racing.

In those three statements, you see victories/successes coming out of very small margins. I noticed one morning as I was drying clothes after the cycle was complete they weren’t completely dry. So I had to run the dryer another time. As I entered my washroom, my glasses were instantly fogged up! LOL, They were foggy because of the steam coming from the dryer and the walls were wet as well. A couple weeks later, I returned only to notice how there were stains on my walls from the water on the walls due to the steam. In other words, if we operate at 212 degrees in an area(s) of our lives, we can leave our mark somewhere or with someone; in our office, our organization, with our families, or in our church!

What areas in our lives can we take it up to the 212th Degree? Promise yourself to operate with a 212 degree attitude and Perspective from here on out in that area(s) in your life.

IF WE LIVED ON AN ANIMAL’S PLANET, WHAT WOULD WE LEARN?

2010-05-23T16:48:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago, for a good couple of Sundays straight, I would be GLUED to the TUBE! I was quite intrigued by the Life Series on the Discovery Channel. This was a documentary, narrated by Oprah, covering the everyday lives of creatures of all kind. During those weeks, I came across some astonishing facts about Geese. Now, I see geese all the time flying around or just strolling around/crossing the street, but I never quite knew all this would be taking place while they were together. Check it out and hope this enlightens you as it did me…

Fact #1: As each goose flaps its wings, it creates an UPLIFT for the birds that follow. By flying in a V formation, the whole flock has 71% GREATER FLYING RANGE THAN IF EACH BIRD FLEW ALONE.

Lesson: HOW BRILLIANT IS THIS?!?!?!?! Geese understand the importance of ACCOUNTABILITY AND COMMUNITY. Often times, we allow pride to get in our way and want to do things alone rather than allowing our friends to spur us forward. Clearly, there is an EVIDENT difference in the outcome while flying together vs. flying alone. Who are you flying with?????

Fact #2: When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of flying alone. It quickly moves back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird immediately in front of it.

Lesson: Yet another great lesson by geese. In order for us to get places we want to go, we need to surround ourselves with those going in the same or similar direction. Sometimes, we tend to MAJOR in MINOR THINGS/PEOPLE. This doesn’t help us, but it diverts us from the route we should be going in the first place.

Fact #3: When the lead bird tires, it rotates back into the formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird immediately in front of it.

Lesson: I ABSOLUTELY LOVE this fact! How often do we hear about people being either DEPENDANT OR INDEPENDANT? This shows our INTERDEPENDANCY UPON ONE ANOTHER! We rarely or NEVER hear about INTERDEPENDANCY.

Fact #4: The geese flying in formation honk to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.

Lesson: I immediately thought about the use of car horns when I read the word “honk”. Think about it. When we honk our horns in our cars, it’s never to encourage! LOL, we honk at people because they’re a) driving too slow, b) in our way, or c) not paying attention when there’s a green light and they’re sitting there waiting for the other kind of green! 90% of people want to work around people who have positive attitudes. Imagine what types of conversations are taking place in those kind of work environments. So, the next time you see a flock of geese and you claim they’re “making all that noise”, they’re actually ENCOURAGING AND PRAISING ONE ANOTHER.

Fact #5: When a goose gets sick, wounded, or shot down, two geese drop out of formation and follow it down to help and protect it. They stay with it until it dies or is able to fly again. Then, they launch out with another formation to catch up with the flock.

Lesson: How many of us have that friend that no matter how you’re doing, they are ALWAYS there? These are the people who’ll, at the drop of a dime, stop what they’re doing to make sure you are okay. Those are some good people to have in your corner. Two words come to my mind when reading this fact; LOYALTY and SELFLESSNESS.

Oh what we can learn from geese…

Seasoned...Just a little bit.

2010-05-08T20:27:00.000-07:00

You know, being married has been such a blessing! I've been married going on 3 months now and somethings that really stick out to me are 1) The companionship between Veronica and I, 2) Becoming and Evolving into a Oneness, and 3) HOME COOKED MEALS E-V-E-R-Y-D-A-Y! THAT'S RIGHT! Veronica makes sure her husband gets a home cooked meal everyday. I'm talking... when I get home from work; dinner is either done or in the process. WHAT?!?!?!?! I remember, one time though, we went grocery shopping and she was looking for SEASONING. Long story short, I tried to give her a particular brand and it wasn't what she was looking for so we had to get the RIGHT SEASONING.

Interestingly enough, I just got off the phone with one of my big bros and he prayed, "allow us SEASONED Christians to...". The term SEASONED resonated with me and led me to writing this. What is the point of a SEASONING? Well, SEASONING (mainly Salt and the Word tells us we're the Salt of the Earth) brings flavor to and is actually used to PRESERVE food. So if that is true, as SEASONED Christians, we are to ADD FLAVOR to where ever we are and PRESERVE the life of a dying culture/world.

Are you wondering why you work with the people you work with? Do you ever think, "Why do I hang out with these people or this person?" Do you ask yourself, "Why does it seem like I'm the only person in my family God has given sense to?" (LOL) Or even, "Why do I play ball with this particular group of guys who have no idea of who Christ is?!?!?!?!?" (HA!)

You're that SEASONING! You're that SEASONING that is specifically called for that particular recipe. You are there to PRESERVE LIFE and ADD the FLAVOR of the Gospel in that situation!

Think about it. If food is not SEASONED properly or not at all, what happens? Either it DIES/SPOILS/ROTTENS/ or it tastes BLAND. Flipping the Christmas Cliche' of "Jesus is the REASON for the SEASON", But "YOU ARE SEASONED FOR A REASON."

The Fine Sounds of Life

2010-05-04T17:00:00.001-07:00

On Tuesday May 4, 2010 (which is also my Grandfather's Birthday who's 71 years young) I had the priviledge of attending my sister's Senior Recital at Suitland High School. Prior to the students beginning their selection, they usually tune their instrument. Well I noticed one girl who didn't. Needless to say her instrument was off pitch, key, tune, or what have you.

While walking with Christ, we must walk according to His tune. There are so many things that can distract us and keep us from walking to His tune; Pride, Lust, Work, or Life in general. If we are walking to His tune, it's the most HARMONIOUS SOUND. However, if we are not, the sound can be DISASTEROUS and we'll be off key.

Depending on the season God has us in, we have to fine tune ourselves so that we are in HARMONY with Him. Oh how sweet the sound!

Marriage Chronicles II

2010-05-02T05:18:00.000-07:00

I left off on the first part of My Marriage Chronicles where my wife, Veronica, and I were reunited via our sister who has gone home to be with The Lord; Cynthia. Man do I miss her! We all miss her! She was one of my BIGGEST supporters in EVERYTHING I did. From my professional life to my spiritual growth to ministry to my relationship life. The cliche' is very much necessary here; the big sister I never had. Here's what happened. Her and Veronica were roommates. Cynthia invited me over for dinner without telling Veronica. I hesitantly accepted the invitation and showed up. I was able to break bread with the both of them and actually sit down with Veronica to catch up a bit.

This was a pretty interesting time in my life because I'd just resigned from a position after a very long time of prayer, fasting, and concentration. So I was in a desert place with no clue as to what God was about to do in my life. During my quiet times, my prayers went from, "Lord, I don't know what You're doing with her and I." to "Lord, make it clear what my next step with her will be because I know what I want out of this." Yes, I went from playing around to wanting a SERIOUS COURTSHIP. I've thrown that word around a bit within these last two posts. Courtship is the process in which two people have the intentions of marrying each other in the near future. For me, this is like pre-engagement stage without a ring. Once I was given the "green light" from God to go ahead and enter back into courtship with Veronica, there was one thing I just had to do prior to moving forward. I had to apologize. I had to apologize for me running in and out of her life whenever I felt like it and being selfish. I didn't know when I was going to do it though because I knew how much it would take out of me.

One evening, we were over her place conversing and it's almost as if everything she was saying I was tuning her out and began telling myself, "APOLOGIZE." So in mid sentence, I stopped her and apologized. I'D DID IT! IT FINALLY CAME OUT!" I said, "I have to apologize to you after 8 years of mistreating you and not considering your feelings. I'm sorry. I don't deserve your forgiveness, BUT if you can allow God to find an inch of space in your heart to forgive me with, I'd love for us to move forward." WHOA! WHAT A LOADED STATEMENT! Her reaction was surprising and it was one I wasn't ready for. I love this part of our process because it's very symbolic of my relationship with Christ. The only way He and I are able to have a relationship is because I acknowledged to Him my wrongs (a sinner) and asked for forgiveness and him to come into my life (Salvation/restoration/Newness) And at that point, the REAL COURTSHIP began!

Marriage Chronicles

2010-05-01T08:27:00.000-07:00

Hey Folks! Thank you so much for coming through to visit my blogspot. I'm excited to be able to share my thoughts, perspectives, and views on subjects via my blog! This is my first series on here and I've entitled it "Marriage Chronicles". I'm doing this because there is so much I've learned about being married in such a short amount of time. And I have the rest of my life to learn more. I'm going to share what our, my wife and I, journey was like up until the present.

Now, I got married February 21, 2010. I know. I know. I've only been married 2 months, but preparation has ALOT to do with marriage. Besides, why do you think it takes 9 months for a baby to be born? Can you imagine if it only took a week for a baby to be born? Or even a month? The baby would have underdeveloped body parts, organs, and just wouldn't be right! A mother and a Father don't start prepping for the baby when she gives birth. They prepare themselves in advance! Ofcourse there are somethings you cannot be COMPLETELY READY FOR, however, having a thorough understanding of what you're in store for helps.

Ahhh, where do I begin? Well, I'll first say we knew of one another in High School. We dated on and off throughout undergrad, but as a fool, I'd always come around, stay around for a couple months, then disappear. That was my routine (foolish ol' me). We attempted to "court" one another after receiving our degrees, which was around 2006-2007 or so. Things didn't work; to say the least, again my fault. At that point and I kid you not, my words were, "She's going to make a great wife to someone one day." We then went our separate ways until reuniting through our BELOVED AND EXTREMELY MISSED SISTER, CYNTHIA; in 2009. Then a REAL COURTSHIP WITH PERPETUITY began. Come back to get the details...

On Your Mark...Get Set.....GO!

2010-04-30T11:50:00.000-07:00

What's up everyone! My name is Dondrae and I just decided to do this blog thing. I was actually inspired by a very good friend of mine; actually two good friends of mine. My sisters Andrea and Kim who both have blogs so I decided to do one myself.

I always tell myself, "if only I had cameras to follow me around for one day, just one day!" Well, this is the next thing closest to that so, here we go.

So, I'm telling myself, "On Your Mark...Get Set...Bl-Go!" LOL, look forward to sharing